Dear Dog and Cat,
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food.
Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets
- If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
- I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
- To you, it's an animal. To me, she is an adopted daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Love this. We have two wee dogs and--- well you know! We love them even when they are pains in the A**. Same as my kids. *SMILE*
ReplyDeleteOh I know Minelle! :)
DeleteAMEN, Sista
ReplyDeleteIan and I are the proud co-habitants of 3 doggies, 3 kitties, a hedgehog and a budgie bird with a Ray Charles fixation. We love our little people so much and they are such a big part of our family. As our kids have grown up and moved, they continue to find the unwanted animals in the world and add them to their little families.
We have one rescue doggie and 2 kitties. They are dear to our hearts. :)
Thanks I will post that on my fridge!
Proudly.
Love ya Cat,
Lillie
Goodness Lillie, have a houseful do ya? And each one is precious. Now if you could just teach them to read. :)
DeleteNow, if we could only teach them to read! This is really cute, Cat :) I'm a huge lover of all animals. I trust their instincts about people too. If my dog doesn't like someone, I don't trust them, lol!
ReplyDeleteHey CG - just suggested to Lillie to teach them to read. :) Got that right, if my pets don't like someone, no way will I trust them. They have better instincts than I do. LOL
DeleteThis also applies to children, with the obvious modifications - except the butt-sniffing part. ;-)
ReplyDeleteIrishey
Gotta good point there Irishey! ;-)
Deletelmbo Cat. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome Joanie. :)
DeleteToo cute!! I can certainly relate ;) I bet they even know how to read your note and just pretend that they don't!
ReplyDeleteThanks Riley. Of course they would pretent they couldn't read it. :)
DeleteI love this post. We live with two kitties and they let us stay as long as we observe their rules. Our rules don't apply unless it meets with their approval (which is hardly ever). LOL
ReplyDeleteHardly ever sunnygirl? That's better than mine! LOL
DeleteLove your post, i love my dog very much:)
ReplyDeleteHappy you enjoyed it! Thanks for stopping by.
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