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Sunday, July 31, 2016

Update on Mom

I want to thank all of you for the prayers, messages, healing energy and lovely thoughts you have sent.  Mom is doing better. Thought I’d give you a quick update on my mom.

She’s gone from this…
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To this…
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To this…
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And is now working on graduating to this…
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Realistically, we’re probably looking at another 3-5 weeks in rehab but if we are, we could be looking at this!
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Of course, there have not been big smiles as you see in the pictures above but she is on her way to recovery and will hopefully be able to live on her own again in the near future.  


Once that happens, if not before, I will probably be checking in to the local funny farm. Winking smile


Here is the YouTube link if the video above won't play.

Saturday, July 30, 2016

31 Hilarious Things Only Husbands Would Say

One of the most important things about marriage is to have a sense of humor through better or worse, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall tweet.
 
And for these hilarious husbands, they seem to have gotten the memo.
 
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Courtesy of 22 words

Friday, July 29, 2016

Diet for the Blonde

A blond has become dreadfully overweight.


She goes to the doctor and he decides to put her on a diet.


"I want you to eat normally for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. Next time I see you, you'll probably be 5 pounds lighter."



The blonde returns after 2 weeks, but upon weighing her it turns out she lost 20 pounds.



"That's amazing!" Said the doctor, "and you followed my instructions?"


The blond nods, tiredly. "I'll tell you, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."


"From hunger, you mean?" Asked her doctor.




"No, silly, from the skipping!"


Thursday, July 28, 2016

Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

It was a typical night of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire...

Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend. 
The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready?"

Barbara: "Sure, I'll have a go!"

Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest?

Is it...
A - Robin
B - Sparrow
C - Cuckoo
D - Thrush
 
Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars."

 
"I think I know who it..but I'm not 100%... No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure."
 
Regis: "Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone?"
 
Barbara: "I'll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham."
(ringing)
 
Maggie (also a blonde): "Hello..."
 
Regis: "Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire. I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to get to a Million. The next voice you hear will be Barbara's and she'll read you the question. There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer -- fire away Barbara."
 
Barbara: "Maggie, which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it:

A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush"

Maggie: "Oh Gees, Barbara that's simple.....It's a Cuckoo."

Barbara: "You think?"

Maggie: "I'm sure."

Barbara: " Thanks Maggie." (hangs up)

Regis: "Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the Million, Barbara?"

Barbara: "I want to play, I'll go with C-Cuckoo"

Regis: "Is that your final answer?"

Barbara: "It is."

Regis: "Are you confident?"

Barbara: "Yes fairly, Maggie's a sound bet."

Regis: "Barbara.....you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo ...you're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS!!! Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara!"

 
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(The audience goes wild)


That night Barbara calls round to Maggie and brings her down to a local bar for a celebration drink and, as they are sipping their Champagne, Barbara turns to Maggie and asks "Tell me Maggie, How in God's name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?
 
Maggie: "Listen Barbara, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock!"
 
Courtesy of BabaMail

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Honey Do’s

Meredith’s Jack over at New Twist, After All These Years hasn’t sent a giggle for a while so was very happy to get this very funny one.  Winking smile  Hope you enjoy!  




Today a friend's wife said to him, "Honey, get off your rear and fix that gutter downspout!  And, I want it done before the end of the day!"
 
Well, as you all know, at my age, my friend, and most of our friends, are retired and do have the time to address such "Honey do's"

So, I invited some of my neighborhood buddies over to help with the project.

One is a sheet metal fabricator.
One brought his welder.
One brought beer and Nachos.
One brought a grill and burgers.
 
Took us about 6 hours, and 30-40 beers, but we got it done just as we finished off the last of the beer and burgers.
 
As usual, the wife is still not happy!!
 
Can't understand, cause all us guys love it!
 
Personally, I cannot wait for it to rain.

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What would you do if your husband and his friends built something like this?   Open-mouthed smile 

Monday, July 25, 2016

A Wild Ride

A long time ago, a young woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down.  She was sitting, out of sorts, when a Native American on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.

Thankful, she climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off.

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The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would shout out a wild "Ye-e-e-e-e-ha-a-a-" so loud that it echoed off the surrounding hills.

When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, she expressed her thanks, and he yelled a final "Ye-e-e-e-e-ha-a-a!" and rode off. 
 
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"Why was that Indian so excited?" asked the service station attendant.

"I don't know. I just rode behind him on the horse with my arms around his waist and holding onto the saddle horn so that I wouldn't fall off," the woman answered. 

 
"Lady," the attendant said in a pained expression, "Indians don't use saddles."

Sunday, July 24, 2016

Positive Things in Life

How easy is it to focus on the bad things in life…the bad days and annoying trials?  Overcome your negative thoughts and each day, consider the positive things in your life, the things that you may not notice or possibly, talk about.  Feel inspired by a little beauty and some advice.  I hope that this presentation will make you smile, and make your day all the better. 
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