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Friday, October 12, 2018

Complex Men


Men are complex and subtle creatures.  Therefore it can be hard to read them.


Say, for example, you want to know if your guy wants a blowjob. You might be wondering “is there some subtle clue he’s giving me?” “Is there some body language I’m missing?” 


Well you’re in luck. I’ve got your answers.


Wanna know if your guy wants you to suck his cock? 


Try this one step method to find out.


1. Is he breathing?

Tuesday, October 9, 2018

First-Grade Logic

1. Don't change horses until they stop running.

2. Strike while the bug is close.

3. It's always darkest before Daylight Saving Time.

4. Never underestimate the power of termites.

5. You can lead a horse to water but How?

6. Don't bite the hand that looks dirty.

7. No news is impossible.

8. A miss is as good as a Mr.

9. You can't teach an old dog new Math.

10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll stink in the morning.

11. Love all, trust Me.

12. The pen is mightier than the pigs.

Monday, October 8, 2018

Church Bake Sale


Win! Win! Got to shock the judgemental prudes and got out of work!

Saturday, October 6, 2018

The Perfect Man

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank."

Passenger: “Who?"
 

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
 

Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star, and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."

Passenger: "Sounds like he was really something special."
 

Cabbie: "There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman could do everything right."

Passenger: "Wow, what a guy!"
 

Cabbie: ‘He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back, even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."

Passenger: "How did you happen to meet him?"
 

Cabbie: “I never actually met Frank ... he died and I married his wife."