Jogging

 

Exercised

Exercise

 

Exercise Tips

Guess Who!

Hey y’all… Surprise! This is not a pre-scheduled post! It’s actually me!

I'm sorry for being MIA for so long...has been a rough few months and have caught myself hibernating quite a bit. Looking back, I probably should have postponed my surgery.  Trying to deal with my mother's grief and mine has been hard enough but add in attending therapy and trying physically recover is a bit much.  Now add in that we have had an unusually large amount of rain in this area this past month and I have a leak in my basement so have spent quite a bit of time cleaning up water. *sigh*  Thank the good Lord for my wet vac!

Thank you so much for all the wonderful and supportive prayers, messages, emails, cards and letters.  You will never know how much they have meant to me!  💜

Okay...here is a bit more in the way of updates...my mom is struggling...can't say I know of a mother who wouldn't be.  She broke my heart the other day when she informed me that my brother was the first think she thought of when she woke up and the last thing she thought of before going to sleep.  I speak with her on a daily basis and can tell how bad a day she's having by how early she starts phoning and how many calls come in that day.

Yes, I am also still struggling with my brother's death.  Since we were only 13 months apart in age and my dad was a pure D redneck with a capital R, we were raised more as twins and even though he was over the road so much, he would often call me when he was driving long stretches in western Kansas.

Now to my shoulder...yes it is still painful but I have regained quite a bit of my mobility even though I still have a ways to go.  According to my doctor and therapist, it will probably be a year before I am "fully" healed.  Unfortunately, I can't take that year off work so am scheduled to go back to work on Tuesday the 5th of September.  Will just have to take frequent breaks which will make for longer days but will get through it.

I originally thought I would go back and respond to all the past comments but don't think I can handle that.  If there are any specific messages and/or questions you left that you would like me to respond to, please let me know and I will address those.  I will be responding to all comments from today moving forward.

I am gonna try to start getting around to visiting everyone but again, am gonna have to take it slow and easy.  If you have a particular post you want me to come visit, just email me.

I completed one painting that was almost done prior to my shoulder getting so bad and have completed two other paintings recently.  If you want to see them, just click on the "My Artwork" in the sidebar.

Hugs and blessings to all y'all!  💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Now for your giggle of the day...

Stamina

Having a bit of stamina can get you out of a lot of situations – but not as many as pure wit can!

 
A woman was having an affair while her husband was at work. One day while in bed with her boyfriend, she hears her husband’s car pull into the driveway.

She yells at the boyfriend, “Quick! Grab your clothes and jump out of the window. My husband has arrived home early!”

The boyfriend looked out the window and said, “It’s raining like hell out there!”

She said, “If my husband finds you here, he’ll kill us both!”

 


So the boyfriend grabs his clothes and jumps out of the window naked. A group of marathon runners were just passing, so he decides to run along with them, carrying his clothes on his arm.
 
Curious, one of the runners asked him, “Do you always run with no clothes on?”

Gasping for air, he answered, “Oh yes, it feels so free having the air blow over your skin.”

 


Another runner then asked the nude man, “Do you always run carrying your clothes on your arm?”

Now breathlessly, the nude man replied, “Oh yes. That way I can get dressed at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!”



The runner then asked, “Do you always wear a condom when you run?”

The nude man replied, “Only when it’s raining!”

Courtesy of The Laugh Bible

Exercise? Me?

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Did you think Meredith's Jack had deserted us?  Surprise!  He sent us a giggle that fit in perfectly with what I had scheduled for posting!  

Shake It Off

 Starting out the week with a bit of exercise and a smile...

If you can't get the video to play, here's a link to it... Shake It Off

The Importance of Walking

Walking a mile a day can add months to your life. This enables you, at 85 years old, to spend an additional five months of life in a nursing home at $6,955 per month.





I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

The only reason I took up walking is to hear heavy breathing again. 

I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing.


Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.


Yet another advantage of exercising every day is that when you die, they'll say, “He looks good doesn't he?”


If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
 
 
 
We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads and our brains have to grow to hold it all.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

AND

 
Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a pub with a Happy Hour.  By the time I leave, I look just fine.

 

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For those of you who have been asking and/or are curious, I have posted some new artwork.  You can view it by clicking on the ‘My Artwork’ link in the upper sidebar.  NOTE: The newest pieces are on the bottom of the page.

Advice From a Doctor

This was sent to me as actual pieces of advice that were given by a doctor to his patients.  Not sure if it’s true or not but sure do like some of his advice!

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Question: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
Answer: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

 
Question: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
Answer: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient Mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

 
Question: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
Answer: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

 
Question: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
Answer: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

 
Question: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
Answer: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

 
Question: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
Answer: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

 
Question: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
Answer: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

 
Question: Is chocolate bad for me?
Answer: Are you crazy? HELLO!! Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

 
Question: Is swimming good for your figure?
Answer: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

 
Question: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
Answer: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Out of the Mouths of Babes

I have previously shared some of these and some are new but all are funny…at least I think so!

Outdoorsy Man?

 


During his physical, the doctor asked the patient about his daily activity level.
 

The patient described a typical day this way:

“Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake,
drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush,
jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake,
marched up and down several rocky hills,
stood in a patch of poison ivy,
crawled out of quicksand
and took four leaks behind big trees.”

 
Inspired by the story, the doctor said,

“You must be one hell of an outdoors man!”

 

”NAH,” he replied, “I'm just a shitty golfer.”

Checking Meters

Two gas company servicemen, a training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood.

They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house a woman watched through her kitchen window as the two men checked her gas meter.

Finishing the meter check, the supervisor challenged his younger co-worker to a footrace down the alley back to the truck…just to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.

As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from the last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. Naturally, they stopped and asked her what was wrong.


Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figure I'd better run too!"

Walking

Walking can add minutes to your life.

This enables you at 95 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $7000 per month…

My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where he is.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.

 

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, 'Well, she looks good doesn't she.'

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years…just getting over the hill.

We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

AND

Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a Happy Hour
and by the time I leave, I look just fine.

The World's Weirdest Fitness Tips & Tricks

We've all chatted about exercising, losing weight, toning up, etc.  I recently received the following article from a friend…not sure how true any of this is but it is interesting, some of it makes no sense to me and some of it is just pure D funny! 

Let me know what you think!

Clothes Make the (Wo)Man Red can increase blood circulation and body temperature, upping the ante on your workout. The science behind it? Red affects the hypothalamus, a part of the brain that regulates body temperature, appetite and energy levels. Reds, as well as oranges, can help get your brain into the zone. Who knew your outfit could get you a better and longer workout?  

Take a Picture of What You Eat Do a quick photo shoot of everything you eat. (And we mean everything.) Even if nobody else sees it, this will get you eating less and higher quality in no time. Be proud of what you put in your body, and the pounds melt away much faster.   

Keep Your Hands Cold “Cold hands, warm heart,” ...slim waistline? Perhaps. Holding a hand-cooling device (such as an ice pack or water bottle) can help you exercise longer. A Stanford study suggests doing this reduces your body temperature and helps you stay comfortable while saving energy for your workout.  

Ellipticals Suck Not only is it arguably the most boring exercise machine, the elliptical is also one of the least effective. It uses momentum instead of muscle force, cheating you out of a harder workout. Although it increases your heart rate, you don’t reach one required to burn fat unless you exercise for 45-60 minutes and vary your intensity and resistance. It can be useful for warming up or rehab, but other than that it’s a time-drain. A good basic rule is: if you can watch TV while you’re doing it, you’re not burning fat.  

Bonding Doesn’t Burn Calories Working out with friends can be a good support system to get you to the gym. But it can backfire too. Many exercisers tend to talk more and slow down, lowering the intensity of their workout. Plus, you can’t break into a sprint in the middle of your conversation!

To avoid this, get to the gym with friends to increase motivation and punctuality, but save the chatter for the locker room.

Drink WHAT?! Drinking pickle juice can help you regain precious sodium lost in a workout. Sodium deficiency can increase cramping. This is great for intense activity in hot weather. If you don’t feel nauseous, drink a few ounces after exercising to speed up recovery.  

If You Like Piña Coladas Pineapple juice can help ease recovery post-workout. Pineapple contains bromelaine, an enzyme that removes lactic acid, the stuff that makes muscles sore and inflamed after working out. Plus the sugar helps you feed your body without refined sugary drinks. Try six to eight ounces 30 minutes after training. You can also get bromelaine in capsule form at the drug or health store.  

Sweat ≠ Working Like A Turbo Jet Sweat is part of homeostasis, or the function that allows your body to regulate itself despite changing environments. Perspiration increases in hot temperatures and intense activity, but you’re actually sweating all the time. It’s not a clear sign that you are burning any calories, however. For instance, sweating in a sauna does not mean you burned more calories than running in cold weather. So quit checking out your pit stains and focus on your heart rate monitor. An elevated heart rate and is the only real indication you’re burning fat!  

This Isn’t A Library Try putting your hands on your stomach while saying “shhh.” Feel the contraction? That is the ab muscles and diaphragm tightening, forcing you to engage your core while breathing, and helping you get more out of each rep (repetition). The louder you shush, the better. It’s great for core exercises like squats, push-ups, and Pilates, and it also helps reverse the negative effects of stress, sitting all day and poor posture. This little trick can help increase strength, improve the spread of oxygen in the body, and strengthen the core.  

You’re Too Young For a Hump! Don’t just spot tone the muscles you can see - there’s more to a good figure than pecs, abs, glutes and quads. Your upper back is a crucial area to tone, both for physical appearance and comfort. Neglecting this zone gives you a clear “hump” caused by forward-rounded shoulders and a forward leaning neck. Not only do you end up looking like a slouch, but you are also vulnerable to neck and shoulder pain.

To reverse this trend, stretch chest muscles and do exercises that force you to retract the neck and shoulders. Good examples are rows, front lat pull-downs, and upward dumbbell flys. Don’t forget to stick your chest out while doing them, too!
 

Courtesy of likes.com

Exercise

Find peace in yoga!

Works for me…I could even run around it!   

Ouch!!!!

Dark Chocolate is the best! 

How to lose MASSIVE amounts of weight!

 
A guy calls a company and orders their 5 day/5 pounds weight loss program.
 
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.
 
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.  The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."
 
Without a second thought, he takes off after her.  A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up.  

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.  

On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 5 pounds as promised. 
 

 
He calls the company and orders their 5 day/10 pounds program. 
 
The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life.
 
She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me".
 
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot.  This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck.  

So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.
 
Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 10 pounds as promised. 
 
 
 
He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7 day/25 pounds program.
 
"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone.  "This is our most rigorous program."  "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."
 
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you are mine." 
 
 
He lost 33 pounds that week!