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Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Strong Woman

10 Reasons Why Most Men Can’t Handle A Strong Woman
 
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What exactly makes a strong woman? Her struggles, sacrifices, and selflessness. A strong woman has endured pain, overcome heart-wrenching experiences, and has allowed herself to be led by forgiveness. A strong woman has swam in deep and treacherous waters and held her breath as much as possible. This type of woman is self-sufficient, independent, loving, and has no fears of showing her vulnerability. The strong woman knows that one moment you are the teacher, and the next you might be the student. So, how does a woman like this keep a man?

HERE ARE 10 REASONS WHY MOST MEN CAN’T HANDLE A STRONG WOMAN:
 
1. A STRONG WOMAN DOESN’T NEED A MAN TO FIGHT FOR HER.
A man needs to feel wanted. He needs to know that he is battling for the eternal love and admiration of his woman. A strong woman will show you that she loves her man, but she’s also independent and can manage on her own. The strong woman will fight for both of you, but she doesn’t need a man to fight her battles. If they have a problem, they deal with it. They don’t sit and wait, as victims, for a man to find the solution. Some men can’t handle this strength. If you choose to remain with this type of woman, be willing to walk beside her, not in front of her while pulling her to where you think she should be.

2. A STRONG WOMAN KNOWS WHAT SHE WANTS.
Strong women know what they want, how to attain it, and remember all that they had to endure to get whatever they have. A woman like this knows what she wants. If she likes a man, she will go after him. She will not wait for the man to make the first move. Strong women have tenacious personalities that can be extremely intimidating for some men. They aren’t submissive. They love wholeheartedly and also can continue exploring the world, with a man or not. It takes a self-confident man to allow this type of personality to take charge.

3. A STRONG WOMAN WILL REQUIRE HONESTY AND VULNERABILITY.
Men have a hard time opening up to difficult questions. Strong women dive right into the depth of hurt, traumas, and life-changing experiences. They require a man who can be honest and vulnerable, because they have endured so much in their lives. They need to know that their mate can be available to navigate the ocean of uncertainties and travel the edges of madness. Strong women don’t fear the past. They excavate and search for those things that make us human. The strong woman will always find a strong man to stand tall with her in the face of diversity. Men tend to avoid vulnerability because they feel weak.

4. A STRONG WOMAN IS NOT INTIMIDATED BY INTIMACY.
The strong woman will challenge a man in the most intimate of ways. She will require intimacy in all forms, from conversation to making love. She will hold nothing back. Because a strong woman is comfortable with her femininity, she will expect her man to also be open to all aspects of intimacy. She requires passion, desire and feel like she’s the one.

5. A STRONG WOMAN CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH LIES.
Strong women are honest and expect complete trust in a relationship. She can sense lies in an instant, so don’t try to sugarcoat a white lie. Don’t give her bogus explanations. She has the ability to be a human lie detector. Being in a relationship with a strong woman requires that there is no holding back. She will never tolerate a sense of falseness and selfishness. If you can’t be with her completely, she will have no problem discarding you.

6. A STRONG WOMAN REQUIRES INTEGRITY AND CONSISTENCY.
Women who have inner strength cannot tolerate irregularity or indecisive personalities. They want to know that the man they love has integrity, respect, and is a man of his word. If they start to feel that their man is pulling away, they will react accordingly and have no problem letting him go if they feel they are being played. They want to feel like they are loved unconditionally. If they feel disrespected, they will have no issues setting that on track. The worst thing you can do to a strong woman is make her feel weak.

7. A STRONG WOMAN IS INTENSE.
 
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A strong woman has endured extraordinary challenges and obstacles in her life. She has had to be extremely powerful. She knows she can endure anything else in her path, so this kind of intensity is often times difficult for a man to understand. It’s intimidating because of all the emotions and thoughts that come with this type of persona. She is willing to share her scars, and expects you to do the same. There are no secrets in her world.

8. A STRONG WOMAN WILL NOT WAIT FOR YOU.
This type of woman will follow you to the depth of hell if she knows you are committed to her. However, the moment you start to pull back, she will let you go. She will not wait for a man to decide if he wants her or someone better. Strong women don’t play little girly games. You are either in, or you are out. They will get hurt, lick their own wounds, and get back up ready to conquer whatever is next.

9. A STRONG WOMAN WILL LOVE YOU UNCONDITIONALLY.
The love from a strong woman is faithful. Just like mothers with their children, the strong woman will nurture and love her man fiercely. When she feels that love in return, she will do anything she can to make him feel loved. She will support him, help him, and fight for him to get what he deserves. Some men can’t handle this kind of unconditional love. They get frightened by the intensity and depth of giving. Many times it is in this stage that men flee from a strong woman. And, just as deeply as she loved you, she will also let you go. She knows her worth.

10. A STRONG WOMAN WILL SHOW YOU WHO YOU ARE.
It’s hard to accept the things we don’t like about ourselves when someone points them out. But, a strong woman will mirror those parts in her man that need addressing. She will be there to help show you how amazing and powerful you are. She will stand by you and show you worth, acceptance, and confidence. Some men cannot handle the emotional chaos that comes up with this projection. Strong woman will find strong men. The weak ones won’t make it past the first few dates.
They don’t know what to do with the honesty, strength, intelligence and independence. A strong man, most likely, was raised by a strong woman and will either deal with the dark night of the soul or leave. Strong women have no time to play games. So, if you can handle the intensity, love, honesty, and conversations, you might just be that strong man who can complement this type of woman.

Courtesy of Power of Positivity

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Personal Request

Hey y’all…
This is not my normal giggle or helpful article so you may want to just come back tomorrow as I’m gonna do something I don’t do very often on this blog…ask for help.

I’ve been dealing with a health issue that has gotten worse and now requires surgery and therapy along with time off work. Have been working to make sure y’all have plenty of giggles while I’m recovering…just might have to wait a bit on responses to comments. Recovery depends on what they find in surgery so could be anywhere from 6 weeks to 6 months.

However…having to move timetable for some posts as this holiday weekend went to H. E. Double hockey sticks…

Bottom line…my brother has cancer and has been given 1 1/2 to 2 months max. He took a turn for the worse last night so not sure if he even has a week so I won’t be around very much for a while.

I am asking for prayers, healing energy, positive thoughts…whatever, depending on your belief system, for my brother and mother. Thank you for your support…

let go - thought

Hugs and blessings for all y’all…Cat

Monday, May 29, 2017

Witty and Short Jokes

Finishing a phrase that's both funny and unexpected requires a very special talent. I, for one, love a joke or phrase that catches me off guard - it makes me laugh even harder than when I have an idea of what's coming! That's why, with great pleasure, I bring you these 14 very witty, unpredictable and funny phrases and jokes: 
 
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Courtesy of BabaMail

Saturday, May 27, 2017

Friday, May 26, 2017

The Young Priest

An elderly priest, speaking to a younger priest, said: "It was a good idea to replace the first four pews with plush bucket theater seats. It worked like a charm. The front of the church always fills first now."

The young priest nodded, and the old priest continued: "And you told me that adding a little more beat to the music would bring young people back to church, so I supported you when you brought in that rock 'n' roll gospel choir.

"Now our services are consistently packed to the balcony."

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"Thank you, father," answered the young priest. "I am pleased that you are open to the new ideas of youth."

"All of these ideas have been well and good," said the elderly priest. "But I'm afraid you've gone too far with the drive-thru confessional."

"But, father," protested the young priest, "my confessions and the donations have nearly doubled since I began that!"


"Yes," replied the elderly priest, "and I appreciate that. But that flashing neon sign, ‘Toot 'n' Tell or Go to Hell’ cannot stay on the church roof.”
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Images (including cover) by Deposit Photos.
 
Courtesy of BabaMail

Thursday, May 25, 2017

A Beer?

It was my first time visiting Dr. Putz for a colonoscopy.
 
I went into his office for my very first rectal exam.
 
His new blond nurse, Ethel, took me to an examining room.
 
She told me to get undressed and have a seat until the doctor could see me. She said that he would only be a few minutes. After putting on the gown that she gave me I sat down.
 
While waiting I observed there were three items on a stand next to the exam table:
A Tube of K-Y jelly,
A rubber glove
And a beer.
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When Dr. Putz finally came in I said, "Look Doc, I'm a little confused. This is my first exam. I know what the K-Y is for, and I know what the glove is for, but can you tell me what the BEER is for?"
 
At that, Doctor Putz became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the door. He flung the door open and yelled to his new blonde nurse: 
 
"Damn it, Ethel! I said a BUTT light."

Courtesy of BabaMail

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Childbirth

I shared a very similar giggle several years ago but when Meredith's Jack sent this one, I decided it had been long enough to share again. Winking smile  



With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit.
 

'May I see the new baby?' I asked

'Not yet,' She said 'I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.'
 


Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, 'May I see the new baby now?'

'No, not yet,' She said.
 


After another few minutes had elapsed, I asked again, 'May I see the baby now?'

'No, not yet,' replied my friend.
 


Growing very impatient, I asked, 'Well, when can I see the baby?'

'WHEN HE CRIES!' she told me.
 

'WHEN HE CRIES?' I demanded.
 

'Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?'

'BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM, O.K.?'

Monday, May 22, 2017

Church Bulletins

They're Back!  Those wonderful Church Bulletins!  These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services…have previously shared some but fun and just had to share again. Smile

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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.  'The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale.  It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house.  Bring your husbands.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir.  They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church.  So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?'  Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.  They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church.  Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.  Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM.  The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.  Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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And this one just about sums them all up…
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'

Sunday, May 21, 2017

Rye Bread

Meredith’s Jack is going to kick off the week for us…
 
Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning.
 
The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
 
The 87 year old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."
 
 
So, on the way home the 80 year old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help.
 
He said "Do you have any Rye bread?"
 
She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"
 
He said, "Yes, I want 5 loaves."
 
She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves... By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be hard!"
 
 
He replied, "I can't believe it, everybody knows about this shit but me."

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Sunday Morning Worship

One Sunday morning an old cowboy entered a church just before services were to begin. Although the old man and his clothes were spotlessly clean, he wore jeans, a denim shirt and boots that were very worn and ragged.
 
In his hand he carried a worn out old hat and a equally worn out Bible. The church he entered was in a very upscale and exclusive part of the city. It was the largest and most beautiful church the old cowboy had ever seen. The people of the congregation were all dressed with expensive clothes and accessories.
 
As the cowboy took a seat, the others moved away from him. No one greeted, spoke to or welcomed him. They were all appalled at his appearance and did not attempt to hide it.
 
As the old cowboy was leaving the church, the preacher approached him and asked the cowboy to do him a favor: “Before you come back in here again, have a talk with God and ask him what he thinks would be appropriate attire for worship.”
 
The old cowboy assured the preacher he would.
 
 
But the next Sunday, he showed back up for the services wearing the same ragged jeans, shirt, boots and hat.
 
Once again he was completely shunned and ignored. The preacher approached the man and said, “I thought I asked you to speak to God before you came back to our church.”
 
“I did,” replied the old cowboy.
 
“If you spoke to God, what did he tell you proper attire should be for worshiping in here?” asked the preacher.
 
 

“Well, sir, God told me that He didn’t have a clue what I should wear. He said He’d never been in here before.”


Courtesy of shareably

Friday, May 19, 2017

What if…

Some things are easier said than done. Have you ever thought about what you would do if you found out that your spouse or significant other was cheating on you? While this is not a fun topic to think about, it’s hard to not let the “what if” thought cross your mind.
 
Chances are, you have thought about this and you have a game plan in your back pocket. You may just up and leave, or you may get so angry that you seek revenge on him/her. And oftentimes your ideal plan doesn’t go the way you expected and you end up doing the opposite. It happens.
 
 
One man did something quite different when he discovered that his wife had been cheating on him while he was away. He wrote a note to the guy she was cheating with, and this is what is said…
 
To the guy doing my wife. You know who you are. Yes I know. No I am not angry, I would just ask a few things of you. After all you are giving it to my wife.
 
1. Please stop leaving the seat up, I keep getting blamed and it is starting to get old.
 
2. You may be giving me a chance to go fishing more often but please stop drinking all my beer. It is fine if you have a couple while you visit (god knows I drink plenty before I find her attractive), but please leave me a few as I have to be there longer than you.
 
3. If you do drink the last one buy more or leave money on the counter I will pick some up.
 
4. Please replace the toilet paper when you use it all. For some reason my 5 year old son believes if it’s not there he does not have to wipe. We keep it under the sink, unless you can recommend a better spot?
 
5. After doing my wife please use something disposable to wipe off with. The basket of clothes on the right is mine and the clothes are clean as my wife does not do my washing, I run out of time rushing to work. Last week my sweatshirt was crusty (thanks).
 
6. Please do not tell my children that you are their uncle, they are young not mentally challenged.
 
7. Please stop turning the heat up, you pay nothing and MUD is putting it in my ass, my wife may like it but I think it hurts.
 
8. When she asks “do these pants make me look fat,” say no. You may think giving a different answer will make her think twice about eating a gallon of ice cream a day but all you are doing is giving her a reason to go buy more pants that she will look just as fat in.
 
9. Stop eating the baked goods. The brownies you ate were from my mom for my birthday. My wife has not cooked anything that good for years and if she does she will not share.
 
10. Try shifting your weight when you sit on my chair. The recliner that I rarely have time for (soccer games and practice, basketball camp for the kids takes much of my time and I try to help with school work too) has a grove in it that forces me to roll to the left.
 
Lastly I would like thank you for taking her to lunch on Valentine’s Day. She was not as hungry as usual and only ordered one meal. I may be able to use the money I saved to take the children to a movie. I hope you can help me with these items, it may become awkward if I have to confront her. If you can do this for me I will give you a heads up on when I will be gone and for how long so that you don’t feel rushed.
 
P.S. I am going to take the kids to the Great Wolf Lodge on the 3rd of April for four days, I have a bottle of vodka above the fridge if you find yourself low on beer.



Well, there ya have it. This guy proved his point in a very creative way. It would be interesting to find out where the relationship stands now.
Courtesy of AWM



Thursday, May 18, 2017

Buy That Cat…

A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take. 

He notices that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars. 

The store owner replies, "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale. 


The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat." 

And the owner says "Sold." And he hands over the cat. 


The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish.". 

And the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week I've sold sixty-eight cats."

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Tips to Keep Your Man Happy

A friend of mine thought that since I was considering dating, that I needed to be reminded of a few things.  Not sure if I should be offended that she sent this to me or complimented that she sent it as a “reminder”. 
 
Either way, it never hurts to be reminded not to take our patner for granted.
 
9 Tips to Keep Your Man (and You) Happy, Faithful, & Satisfied
When is the last time you reminded your SO just how much they mean to you? If you're wondering how to keep your man happy, you've come to the right place. These nine tips will ensure a satisfied partner and a faithful relationship.

 
Relationships are delicate, complex, and always changing. Some marriages last 70 years, some last 72 days (looking at you, Kim)—and while neither of those options is necessarily right or wrong, most people enter a relationship hoping it will last a long time, if not a lifetime. There is no one-size-fits-all secret to a lasting, happy, and faithful relationship, but there are some general guidelines.
 
Full disclaimer upfront: Nothing can make a relationship last with somebody who doesn’t want it to last. These tips will not prevent arguments, infidelity, or other problems, but they can help foster a healthy environment and productive partnership. Clear communication, openness to new experiences, and respect for your partner are key if you want to build a lasting, loving relationship.


1. Make your partner a priority: Take time often to let your boyfriend or hubby know how special he is to you. We get that life gets super busy; school, jobs, kids, and other commitments often get in the way. Taking time out of your day to send a sweet text or pick up his favorite snack on the way home is a simple way to remind him he’s always on your mind.


2. Respect yourself: Sometimes negligence is the issue, but other times we get too far on the other end of the spectrum. Putting your partner first 24/7 is a great way to burn yourself out and kill the passion in your relationship. Don’t be a doormat, and don’t let yourself go trying to do everything for him. Confidence is attractive, and taking care of yourself is a must.


3. Have body confidence: Expanding on the last point, body confidence is super important to keep the spark alive in any sexual relationship. People change, and so do bodies. If you’ve gained weight since you first met, or you started getting dark chin hairs, or an emergency appendectomy left you with a weird scar, who cares? We guarantee you that decent, worthwhile dudes are not turned off by this. Shutting down your sex life over a few new stretch marks is sure to be a relationship killer. Don’t let time and gravity stop you from doin’ your thang, girl.


4. Don’t use sex as a bartering chip: Withholding sex because he didn’t take the garbage out or reserving half-hearted BJs for birthdays is a really bad idea, unless you want your SO to think you consider sex a chore.
 
5. Keep an open mind: This goes for a lot of things (seriously, just try the restaurant he wants you to try), but we are specifically talking in the bedroom. Everybody has different tastes, and if you want to keep your love life exciting, it’s wise to approach sex with a relaxed, non-judgmental attitude. As long as it doesn’t hurt you or throw your moral compass out of whack, adopt an “I’ll try anything once and twice if I like it” attitude. And if he’s into something you just can’t get down with? Try super hard not to let him know you think his kink is weird or gross. Most people have already had enough sexual shame to last them a lifetime (thanks, abstinence-only sex education!).

6. Trust him: We know rom-coms taught you that men are incompetent horndogs who turn into drooling cavemen around even mildly attractive women, but please remember to respect your partner’s intelligence by not falling for this shit. Do not hound him about his cute co-worker, neighbor, or friend. Insecurity is a major boner-shrinker, and unwarranted lecturing, snooping, and accusing are sure to get you nowhere. If you have any legitimate concerns about cheating, a respectful and honest conversation is usually the best place to start.


7. Don’t talk behind his back: All couples are bound to encounter some difficult times, but airing your dirty laundry is usually a bad idea (unless your partner is abusive or doing something illegal or dangerous, in which case you should definitely seek the help of a third party). If you have run-of-the-mill relationship drama, ranting to your friends and family will often make things worse. Remember, just because you can forgive your man, it doesn’t mean they can. If you plan on working past it, keep it to yourself.


8. Flirt with him: Flirting keeps your passion alive, and it is a vital part of any good relationship. Plan solo dates often, try new things together, and pinch his butt cheeks just for fun. A little sexting never hurts, either.
 
9. Support him: Encourage him if he wants to try something new. Support him if he's going through a rough phase in life. Generally, men do not open up as easily as women do, so don’t expect a heartfelt conversation every time he’s going through a rocky patch. Something as simple as telling him he’s doing a good job or making him a nice meal after a long day can make him feel cared for. 
 
Courtesy of More Love + Sex

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Exam Answers

Saw this on Facebook and it totally cracked me up.  Hope you enjoy. Winking smile

How to Answer Questions on an Exam When You Don’t Know Anything
When you don’t know the answer to an exam question, you have two options: acknowledge defeat straightaway and prepare yourself to take the test again, or summon up a little creativity. That way, even if you fail the exam, at least you got a laugh out of it!

We at Bright Side encourage you to be just like these guys and to never give up!

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Based on materials from La Foka
Bored Panda
Courtesy of Bright Side

Monday, May 15, 2017

Saving Lives

Received the following from one of my readers with the following message…
“I will deny it if you say I sent this to you, but it's too funny not to share!  LOL!”
save mans life
No, it was not Jack but bet he will enjoy it. Winking smile