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Tuesday, September 30, 2014
2. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
3. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
4. When you say, "I love you", mean it.
5. When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.
6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
7. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
8. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
9. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
10. Don't judge people by their relatives.
11. Talk slowly but think quickly.
12. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
13. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
14. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
15. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
16. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
17. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
18. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
19. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
20. Spend some time alone to think what you can give to this world.
Monday, September 29, 2014
One Monday morning Shane the postman was riding through the neighbourhood on his usual route, delivering the mail.
As he approached one of the homes he noticed that both cars were still in the driveway.
His wonder was cut short by Dave, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer, wine and spirit bottles for the recycling bin.
'Wow Dave, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night,' the Postman commented.
Dave, in obvious pain, replied, 'Actually we had it Saturday night.. This is the first time I have felt like moving since 4:00 o'clock Sunday morning .We had about 15 couples from around the neighbourhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild. We all got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I?'
The Postman thought for a moment and said, 'How do you play WHO AM I?'
Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and come out one at a time covered with a sheet with only their 'willy' showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is.'
The postman laughed and said, 'Sounds like fun, I'm sorry I missed it.'
'Probably a good thing you did,' says Dave, 'Your name came up 7 times.'
Oopsie! I do believe he is delivering more than just mail!
Sunday, September 28, 2014
Hey blogland…you may have heard…we have several members of our family who are fighting health issues as well as several members who have lost or are losing close family members.
Whatever your beliefs, please send prayers, healing energy and/or positive thoughts.
If there is anything I can do for any of you suffering illness or loss, please let me know!
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Friday, September 26, 2014
The groom looked pretty feeble and the feeling was that the wedding night might kill him, because his bride was a healthy, vivacious young woman.
But lo and behold, the next morning, the bride came down the main staircase slowly, step by step, hanging onto the banister for dear life.
She finally managed to get to the counter of the little shop in the hotel. The clerk looked really concerned, "Whatever happened to you, honey? You look like you've been wrestling an alligator!"
The bride groaned, hung on to the counter and managed to speak, "Ohhh God! He told me he'd been saving up for 75 years, and I thought he meant his money!!"
Thursday, September 25, 2014
I quickly gave myself a personal and vigorous pat down.
They weren't in my pockets.
Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car.
Frantically,I headed for the parking lot.
My husband has scolded me many times for leaving my keys in the car's ignition.
He's afraid that the car could be stolen.
As I looked around the parking lot, I realized he was right.
The parking lot was empty.
I immediately called the police.
I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.
Then I made the most difficult call of all to my husband:
"I left my keys in the car and it's been stolen."
There was a moment of silence.
I thought the call had been disconnected, but then I heard his voice.
"Are you kidding me?"
"I dropped you off!"
Now it was my turn to be silent.
Embarrassed, I said,
"Well, come and get me."
"I will, as soon as I convince this cop that I didn't steal your car!"
Do you think the ‘pat down’ she is going to receive from her husband is going to be memorable?
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
#1 Quick Wit
No dad can punish a witty child. If you can crack a good joke, you can get away with anything!
#2 Fat Fail!
Oh god, this did not just happen. Believe it or not, parents don't really believe that it's all about inner beauty. We don't even know what to say. It's just bad. It's very, very bad.
#3 Darth Vader
He must have waited years to drop this joke. It was worth it.
#4 Bad Math
Of course that’s what you meant Dad! You’re just going to give your kid $60 for a Coca-Cola.
#5 BF Busted
Hey, kid. Listen, we've all tried hiding our BF’s and GF's from our parents. It just doesn't work…especially if you just dish out info to strangers. The correct answer is…I don’t answer questions from numbers I don’t recognize!
#6 What's Up
Dads love to throw the I'm-doing-your-mom card around. Really, what can you say to that? Dad wins.
#7 Dad's Freaking Out!
Whoa! This girl's dad is insanely overprotective. Can't a girl get a minute in the loo?
#8 Sexting Dad?!
Leave it to dad to make accidentally coming out of the closet super funny. Yeah, it's crazy awkward, but he's still one cool dad!
#9 The Price You Pay
Even dads have skeletons in their closets. If you're a decent human being, you should probably cut them some slack. But that doesn't mean you can't get some cash for it.
#10 Ignorance is Bliss
Dad isn't always a good partner in crime. Just be glad he's not getting in the way.
Courtesy of likes.com