Update to My Guardian Angel

My darling Guardian Angel,

It's the 11th of January and you’ve been gone two years today.  Each day does get a bit easier even though in some ways it seems as if you’ve been gone forever and in some it feels as if I just lost y’all yesterday.  It’s been a rough year…almost losing mom, dealing with her recovery, my health issues, surgery, time out of work, issues with kids and dealing with all of this without your strength.

It’s getting a bit easier to think and talk about the good times with you and your family.  I can now smile more rather than cry when I remember all the joy, love and laughter we shared.

You led me to a wonderful group of people, many of whom have now become very dear friends.  This has been a rough week but I have received the most outstandingly supportive messages from many of them.  

Yes, I still feel alone in many ways…still ache for your arms to hold me tight and keep me safe and dang, I do miss your wicked sense of humor.     But, thanks to those friends, I don’t feel nearly alone as I did a year ago.

Several of those friends have suggested I try meeting someone new but wouldn’t even know where to start looking and pfft…where would I find someone even close to you!   
I still struggle with what the good Lord’s plans are for me…guess I’ll find out in due time.

I feel you so near me at times that I know you are still watching over me. Yes darlin’ there are times I can hear you…“Do you think this is in your best interest?”  “Do you really want to go there?”  Sheesh…what do you expect? I’m trying!  Okay…sorta.

Some of the people that I connected with last year are no longer in blog land but there are many that are still here and new bloggers you would love.  Oh yes…there are some HoH’s here that you would get along with just like your brothers! 

I will continue enjoying life and share the joy you gave me with others.

Love Always,
Cat


Since music has always been a part of my life, Matthew and I were constantly sending each other songs to convey different messages. The last song Matthew shared with me was “I Won’t Give Up” by Jason Mraz which was something he constantly said to me.  I can’t hear this song without thinking of Matthew.  Hope you enjoy it.

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
Well there's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find

Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use the tools and gifts
We got yeah we got a lot at stake
And in the end,
You're still my friend at least we didn't tend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn, how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I got, and what I'm not
And who I am

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
I'm still looking up

I won't give up on us
God knows I'm tough, he knows
We got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up...

 

Thank you my blog land friends and family for all the love and support!

Y’all are awesome!