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Thursday, April 30, 2015

Only a Miracle

Tess was a precocious eight-year-old when she heard her Mom and Dad talking about her little brother, Andrew.  All she knew was that he was very sick and they were completely out of money.  They were moving to an apartment complex next month because Daddy didn’t have the money for the doctor’s bills and our house.

Only a very costly surgery could save him now and it was looking like there was no one to loan them the money.  She heard Daddy say to her tearful Mother with whispered desperation, “Only a miracle can save him now.”

Tess went to her bedroom and pulled a glass jar from its hiding place in the closet.  She poured all the change out on the floor and counted it carefully,  Three times.  The total had to be exactly perfect. No chance here for mistakes. 

Carefully placing the coins back in the jar and twisting on the cap, she slipped out the back door and made her way 6 blocks to Rexall’s Drug Store with the big Red Indian Chief sign above the door.

She waited patiently for the pharmacist to give her some attention but he was too busy at this moment.  Tess twisted her feet to make a scuffing noise.  Nothing.  She cleared her throat with the most disgusting sound she could muster.  No good.  Finally she took a quarter from her jar and banged it on the glass counter.

That did it! “And what do you want?” the pharmacist asked in an annoyed tone of voice. “I’m talking to my brother from Chicago whom I haven’t seen in ages,” he said without waiting for a reply to his question.
“Well, I want to talk to you about my brother,” Tess answered back in the same annoyed tone. “He’s really, really sick…and I want to buy a miracle.”

“I beg your pardon?” said the pharmacist.

“His name is Andrew and he has something bad growing inside his head and my Daddy says only a miracle can save him now. So how much does a miracle cost?”

“We don’t sell miracles here, little girl. I’m sorry but I can’t help you,” the pharmacist said, softening a little.

“Listen, I have the money to pay for it. If it isn’t enough, I will get the rest. Just tell me how much it costs.”

The pharmacist’s brother was a well-dressed man. He stooped down and asked the little girl, “What kind of a miracle does your brother need?”

“I don’t know,” Tess replied with her eyes welling up. “I just know he’s really sick and Mommy says he needs an operation.   But my Daddy can’t pay for it, so I want to use my money.”

“How much do you have?” asked the man from Chicago.

“One dollar and eleven cents,” Tess answered barely audibly. “And it’s all the money I have, but I can get some more if I need to.”

“Well, what a coincidence,” smiled the man. “A dollar and eleven cents — the exact price of a miracle for your little brother.”

He took her money in one hand and with the other hand he grasped her mitten and said “Take me to where you live.  I want to see your brother and meet your parents.  Let’s see if I have the kind of miracle you need.”

That well dressed man was Dr. Carlton Armstrong, a surgeon, specializing in neuro-surgery. The operation was completed without charge and it wasn’t long until Andrew was home again and doing well.  Mom and Dad were happily talking about the chain of events that had led them to this place.

“That surgery,” her Mom whispered, “Was a real miracle.  I wonder how much it would have cost?”

Tess smiled.  She knew exactly how much a miracle cost…one dollar and eleven cents.


Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Sex Accidents

Did ya know that sex accidents can be deadly?    Surprised smile
Condom Choke
Oh no, bad news as the use of condoms are becoming popular! Keep using condoms ladies!


Fractured Penis
Whoa! Guys if you ever wondered if this could happen to you. . . looks like it can!

Dildo Torture
Yikes! Hint: don't DIY this sex toy in your woodshop!

Nipple Electrocution
Whatever possesses the minds of sadomasochistic lovers can literally kill them! Someone should write a safety manual!

Viagra Overdose
One side effect of even one Viagra taken, is a racing heart as blood explodes through the veins. Can you image downing the whole bottle? This man must've literally blew up.

Shocking, right?! More shocking is, according to an article called "Zoophilia and the Law", bestiality is legal in 19 U.S. states and DC. There are also countries (such as Sweden) where it is legal.

Dildo Light Bulb
Geez! Some people see something phallic and ALL they can think about is putting it in their butts? Go figure…

Some pervertibles should not be perverted. Winking smile

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Facts You May Not Know

Received the following from our Meredith over at New Twist, After All These Years with a message that read in part “…just thought of you when I read it.”  Hmmm…that could be taken different ways…depending on which ‘fun fact’ is being read.   Winking smile  Hope you enjoy.
It takes glass one million years to decompose, which means it never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount of times.
Gold is the only metal that doesn't rust, even if it's buried in the ground for thousands of years.
Your tongue is the only muscle in your body that is attached at only one end.
If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. When a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.
Each year 2,000,000 smokers either quit smoking or die of tobacco-related diseases.
Zero is the only number that cannot be represented by Roman numerals.
Kites were used in the American Civil War to deliver letters and newspapers.
The song, Auld Lang Syne, is sung at the stroke of midnight in almost every English-speaking country in the world to bring in the New Year.
Drinking water after eating reduces the acid in your mouth by 61 percent
Peanut oil is used for cooking in submarines because it doesn't smoke unless it's heated above 450F
The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.
Nine out of every 10 living things live in the ocean
The banana cannot reproduce itself. It can be propagated only by the hand of man
Airports at higher altitudes require a longer airstrip due to lower air density
The University of Alaska spans four time zones
The tooth is the only part of the human body that cannot heal itself.
In ancient Greece, tossing an apple to a girl was a traditional proposal of marriage. Catching it meant she accepted.
Warner Communications paid $28 million for the copyright to the song Happy Birthday.
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
A comet's tail always points away from the sun
The Swine Flu vaccine in 1976 caused more death and illness than the disease it was intended to prevent
Caffeine increases the power of aspirin and other painkillers, that is why it is found in some medicines.
The military salute is a motion that evolved from medieval times, when knights in armor raised their visors to reveal their identity.
If you get into the bottom of a well or a tall chimney and look up, you can see stars, even in the middle of the day.
When a person dies, hearing is the last sense to go. The first sense lost is sight
In ancient times strangers shook hands to show that they were unarmed
Strawberries are the only fruits whose seeds grow on the outside
Avocados have the highest calories of any fruit at 167 calories per hundred grams
The moon moves about two inches away from the Earth each year
The Earth gets 100 tons heavier every day due to falling space dust
Due to earth's gravity it is impossible for mountains to be higher than 15,000 meters
Mickey Mouse is known as "Topolino" in Italy
Soldiers do not march in step when going across bridges because they could set up a vibration which could be sufficient to knock the bridge down
Everything weighs one percent less at the equator
For every extra kilogram carried on a space flight, 530 kg of excess fuel are needed at lift-off
The letter J does not appear anywhere on the periodic table of the elements.

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Party Invitation

Thought I’d start your week off with a lovely party invitation…hope you enjoy. Winking smile

party invitation

Saturday, April 25, 2015


Hilariously Misplaced Advertisements That Will Make You Face-Palm


They say that "ad placement" is everything. I guess these people never heard that quote before.
Here are some unfortunate but hilariously misplaced ads.


Starbucks fans everywhere are up in arms over this one.


Oh, crap.

Come Closer

On second thought, stay back.


The only thing I can say about this is, "ahhhhhhhh!"

What a Relief

Well there's something you don't see every day.

Here, Kitty Kitty

Seriously, what are the odds?


That is one nice set of wheels.

Where's Daddy?

Ding, ding, ding!


Monkey see, monkey do.

The Real You

I'm blushing.

Back Door

No comment necessary.

Got Carrots?

How didn't anyone see this coming?

Les Mis

Hereeeeeee's Johnny!


That's just plain mean.


That guy probably has this picture framed in his house.


Down goes Frazier.

Quit School

What a great message to our youth.

Fight Cancer

Well, this is awkward.

Old Lady

Nice headlights.

Hor Lover

Face palm.

Dream Holiday

What terrible, terrible placement.


Not cool.

Burger King

Decisions, decisions, decisions...

Fight Club

They couldn't find a better spot for that?



Join the Fun

That doesn't look like much fun to me.
Courtesy of Lifestyle

Friday, April 24, 2015

Positive Moments

How about something funny for today…
(wish I had some peanut butter and jam!)
Multi-dexterous father!
Just ONE more and I'd have a dozen!
She's coming home!
One shade lighter on the lipstick for a match!
How do I hug a hedgehog?
A guy's gotta eat what he can get!
I still say he's not my kid! (but I love him anyway)
I'm warning you! I'll hang a peckin' on you!
Tea time Mum! Welcome to my party!
The Three Amigos!
Babusha in the making.
He's MY guy - got something to say about it??
Come on you two! I need my space!
This quilt definitely won't blow away, we got it covered!
I don't know what he is but he's MINE!
OK! You're gonna PAY for what you did on my shirt!
Nope, not a big enough catfish for my supper, better catch one more!
I REALLY have to pee! When will she wake up???
Twins in the womb and twins in the room.
I can't hold this pose forever you know......
She had to check .research for Sex Ed in school.
OK, good! You have half of the Dog Paddle stroke down pat!
Ya know, at times like this I wish we could fly!
People are funny they think of strange thing
Like do penguins have knees
Yes it turns out we do in fact have knees.
Not that you would know...
Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is a mystery.
And Today?
Today is a gift.
That's why we call it the present."