Adult Content Warning

You have entered a site intended for ADULTS ONLY. If you are under the age of 18, or if it is illegal to view such material in your community, please exit this site immediately. This site contains mature content including but not limited to; articles, discussions, pictures and other materials that some people may find offensive. If such materials offend you, please exit this site immediately.

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Diaries

This Is The Greatest Diary Comparison Ever. Who Says Cats Are Evil?




 If you can't view the video, click here to view it over at YouTube.


Have you ever thought about what your dog and cat would write if they had a diary?  Well here it is!


Dog Diary:



clip_image002

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


Cat Diary:

clip_image004

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.  They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.  Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.  In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.  Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.  I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities.  However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am.  Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.  I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.  However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.  I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.”  I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.  I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges.  He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return.  He is obviously retarded.  The bird must be an informant.  I observe him communicate with the guards regularly.  I am certain that he reports my every move.  My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.  For now…

Courtesy of Sun Gazing


12 comments:

  1. The video of the dog and kitten is great and I love the diaries, they are so funny. Thanks, Lisa

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So happy you enjoyed them Lisa. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...
      Cat

      Delete
  2. What a cute video. The diary entries had me laugh so hard, too funny (no food no drink when I visit your blog!). Thank you for the good laughs, Cat.

    hugs

    Nina

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So happy you enjoyed the video and the diaries Nina. Also very happy you have learned not to eat or drink when visiting here. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...
      Cat

      Delete
  3. Very cute, love the video! Thank you Cat:)

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy you enjoyed the video Roz...I did also. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...
      Cat

      Delete
  4. Hi Cat, very entertaining, cute kitten!
    love Jan,xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy you enjoyed the kitten Jan. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...
      Cat

      Delete
  5. Yeah that pretty much sums it up. My cat ate half a mouse last week and got sick. Then she became very persnicity and hissed at us if we touched her. Gotta love cats. That weaving between the legs thing is quite annoying. I stepped on her tall two days ago and got quite a protest.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL ZBG...very independent creatures aren't they. I have a stray that lives in my garage. I don't mind, actually appreciate, her killing mice in the garage but she stacks them in front of the door for me to step on when I walk out. She also loves to go out in the field and catch rats or dig up moles out of the yard and bring them in to me. Ummm...thanks? LOL

      Hugs and blessings...
      Cat

      Delete
  6. Yes, that's pretty much a cats POV, it's what I love about them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too Sunny! ;)

      Hugs and blessings...
      Cat

      Delete

Thanks for stopping by. Respectful comments are always welcome.