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Thursday, March 31, 2016
Wednesday, March 30, 2016
If you’ve been to the hospital recently, you’ve probably noticed that the hospital relies on nurses in order to keep everything running smoothly. In fact, according to the United States Bureau of Labor Statistics, there are over 3.1 million nurses in the United States alone.
What you probably don’t know is that even with so many nurses, most nurses are severely overworked and underpaid. For all the sacrifices that nurses make, it’s hard to argue that they are fairly compensated. And it seems to have always been this way.
Check out these 9 rules nurses had to follow back in 1887. It may not be this bad for nurses now, but we can all be doing a whole lot more to show our appreciation to nurses.
In addition to taking care of 50 patients, each nurse had to follow these rules:
1. Daily sweep and mop the floors of your ward, dust the patient’s furniture and window sills.
2. Maintain an even temperature in your ward by bringing a scuttle of coal for the day’s business.
3. Light is important to observe the patient’s condition. Therefore, each day fill kerosene lamps, clean chimneys, and trim wicks. Wash the windows once a week.
4. The nurse’s notes are important in aiding the physician’s work. Make your pens carefully; you may whittle nibs to your individual taste.
5. Each nurse on day duty will report every day at 7AM and leave at 8PM except on Sabbath on which day you will be off from 12PM to 2PM.
6. Graduate nurses in good standing with the director of nurses will be given an evening off each week for courting purposes or two evenings a week if you go regularly to church.
7. Each nurse should lay aside from each pay day a goodly sum of her earning for her benefits during her declining years so that she will not become a burden. For example, if you earn $30 a month you should set aside $15.
8. Any nurse who smokes, uses liquor in any form, gets her hair done at a beauty shop, or frequents dance halls will give the director of nurses good reason to suspect her worth, intentions and integrity.
9. The nurse who performs her labors and serves her patients and doctors faithfully and without fault for a period of five years will be given an increase by the hospital administration of five cents per day.
Wow! Talk about dedicated!
Tuesday, March 29, 2016
The guy says, “You’re right. I don’t have any money, but if I show you something you haven’t seen before, will you give me a drink?”
The bartender says, “Only if what you show me ain’t risque.”
“Deal!” says the guy. He reaches into his coat pocket, pulls out a hamster and puts it on the bar. The hamster runs to the end of the bar, scales down to the floor, runs across the room, up the piano, jumps on the keyboard and starts playing Gershwin songs.
The bartender says, “You’re right, I’ve never seen anything like that before. That hamster is truly good on the piano.” He gives the the a drink. After the guy chugs the drink, he asks for another.
“Money or another miracle else no drink,” says the bartender.
The guy reaches into coat, pulls out a frog and puts it on the bar. The frog to starts to sing and turns out he has a marvelous voice with a great pitch.
A stranger from the other end of the bar comes over to the guy and offers him $300 for the frog. The guy accepts the money and hands over the frog. The stranger then runs out of the bar with the frog. The bartender says to the guy, “Are you some kind of nut? You sold a singing frog for $300? It must have been worth millions. You must be crazy!”
“Not really,” says the guy. “The hamster is also a ventriloquist and can throw his voice across the room.”
Monday, March 28, 2016
It’s been a while since I shared a recipe out here so thought I’d share this one.
- 1# ground meat (beef or turkey)
- ½ cup chopped onions
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 ½ cups water
- ½ cup uncooked long grain rice (I use Minute Rice – if you use a long cooking rice, you will need to increase the cooking time)
- 2 tablespoons Worcestershire Sauce
- 1 large or 2 small green peppers – chopped
- ½ teaspoon celery seed
- 1 teaspoon basil
- 2 teaspoons oregano
- 1 cup shredded Mozzarella Cheese
- 2 cups shredded Italian Style Cheese (any combination of Mozzarella, Provolone, Parmesan, Romano, Fontina & Asiago)
- 2 cups bread – cubed
- 8 tablespoons melted butter
- 1 teaspoon garlic powder (optional)
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees
- Brown the ground meat, onion, and garlic; breaking up the meat well until it is fully cooked. When I use ground turkey, I add a tablespoon of olive oil or bacon grease since it has a tendency to be a bit dry.
- Once browned, add water, rice, and Worcestershire sauce. Cover and simmer until rice is tender – approximately 15 minutes. (If necessary, add water 1 tablespoon at a time).
- Stir in green peppers, all spices (except garlic powder), and cheese.
- Pour into 8 x 11 casserole.
- Combine melted butter and garlic powder (if used).
- Add cubed bread to melted butter and toss until all bread is coated.
- Spread over casserole.
- Bake uncovered for 20 – 25 minutes until topping is crispy and golden brown.
- Can use all plain Mozzarella Cheese rather than adding any Italian Style if you would prefer.
- Can be doubled – just bake in a larger casserole dish.
- Can be frozen (I freeze into individual servings). To reheat, completely unthaw, add approximately a tablespoon of water per serving, and microwave at 50% power for 1 minute, stir and heat until desired temperature.
- Would not suggest using brown rice in this recipe unless you precook it.
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask and if you try the recipe, as always, I would love any feedback you would care to give.
Sunday, March 27, 2016
The second nun answered, “Indeed it would, sister, but I would not feel comfortable buying beer, since I am certain it would cause a scene at the checkout stand.”
“I can handle that without a problem,” the other nun replied, and she picked up a six-pack and headed for the checkout.
The cashier had a surprised look on his face when the two nuns arrived with a six-pack of beer.
“We use beer for washing our hair,” the nun said. “Back at the convent, we call it ‘Catholic shampoo.’ ”
Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter, pulled out a package of pretzel sticks, and placed them in the bag with the beer.
He then looked the nun straight in the eye, smiled, and said: “The curlers are on the house.”
Saturday, March 26, 2016
Friday, March 25, 2016
The Gospel of John (20:7) tells us that the napkin, which was placed over the face of Jesus, was not just thrown aside like the grave clothes. The Bible takes an entire verse to tell us that the napkin was neatly folded, and was placed separate from the grave clothes.
Early Sunday morning, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene came to the tomb and found that the stone had been rolled away from the entrance. She ran and found Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved. She said, 'They have taken the Lord's body out of the tomb, and I don't know where they have put him!' Peter and the other disciple ran to the tomb to see. The other disciple outran Peter and got there first. He stooped and looked in and saw the linen cloth lying there, but he didn't go in.
Then Simon Peter arrived and went inside. He also noticed the linen wrappings lying there, while the cloth that had covered Jesus' head was folded up and lying to the side.
Was that important? Absolutely!
Is it really significant? Yes!
In order to understand the significance of the folded napkin, you have to understand a little bit about Hebrew tradition of that day. The folded napkin had to do with the Master and Servant, and every Jewish boy knew this tradition.
When the servant set the dinner table for the master, he made sure that it was exactly the way the master wanted it.
The table was furnished perfectly, and then the servant would wait, just out of sight, until the master had finished eating, and the servant would not dare touch that table, until the master was finished.
Now, if the master were done eating, he would rise from the table, wipe his fingers, his mouth, and clean his beard, and would wad up that napkin and toss it onto the table.
The servant would then know to clear the table. For in those days, the wadded napkin meant, 'I'm done'.
But if the master got up from the table, and folded his napkin, and laid it beside his plate, the servant would not dare touch the table, because...
The folded napkin meant, 'I'm coming back!'
Thursday, March 24, 2016
Don’t know who to feel more sorry for…him or her.
Wednesday, March 23, 2016
$5.37...That’s what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher.
Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me.
He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount." I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68," he said cheerfully.
I stood there stupefied. I am 58, not even 60 yet? A mere child! Senior citizen?
I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Elmo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil.
I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside.
I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.
Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?
"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind! “Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!"
I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing.
That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. Then, a few other objects came into focus:
The car seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.
Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle. Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life.
That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.
I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time.
There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?"
All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here"? At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.
Elmo had no clue.
I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake."
I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized. He offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."
All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40 mph zone. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.
As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blankie.
The good news was I had successfully found my way home.
Tuesday, March 22, 2016
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."
The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever.
As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.
A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but, as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "£150!" she cried, “£150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now £150."
I know you're smiling, so pass them on, give someone else a smile too!