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Pun Signs

Some very fun puns from Meredith's Jack. Hope you enjoy!
 

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A sign in a shoe repair store in Vancouver reads:

We will heel you

We will save your sole

We will even dye for you.

A sign on a blinds and curtain truck:

“Blind man driving.”

Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office:

"Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”

In a Podiatrist's office:

"Time wounds all heels.”

On a Septic Tank Truck:

Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

At an Optometrist's Office:

"If you don't see what you're looking for,

You've come to the right place.”

On a Plumber's truck:

"We repair what your husband fixed.”

On another Plumber's truck:

"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:

"Invite us to your next blowout.”

On an Electrician's truck:

 "Let us remove your shorts.”

In a Non-smoking Area:

"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.”

On a Maternity Room door:

"Push. Push. Push.”

At a Car Dealership:

"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.”

Outside a Muffler Shop:

"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:

"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”

At the Electric Company:

"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time.

However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted.”

In a Restaurant window:

"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:

"Drive carefully. We'll wait.”

At a Propane Filling Station:

"Thank Heaven for little grills.”

In a Chicago Radiator Shop:

"Best place in town to take a leak.”

And the best one for last…

Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:

“Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises”

And More Signs

Some wonderful English signs from around the world:
- Cocktail lounge, Norway: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
- Doctor's office, Rome: Specialist in women and other diseases.
- Dry cleaners, Bangkok: Drop your trousers here for the best results.
- In a Nairobi restaurant: Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.
- On the main road to Mombassa, leaving Nairobi: Take notice: when this sign is under water, this road is impassable.
- On a poster at Kencom: Are you an adult who cannot read? If so we can help.
- In a city restaurant: Open seven days a week and weekends.
- In a cemetery: Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.
- Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations: Guests are requested not to smoke or do other disgusting behaviours in bed.
- On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
- Hotel, Yugoslavia: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
- Hotel, Japan: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
- In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian orthodox monastery: you are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
- A sign posted in Germany's black forest: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for this purpose.
- Hotel, Zurich: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
- Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?
- Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: We take your bags and send them in all directions.
- A laundry in Rome: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

Back to School

  

 

 

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