Thoughts

Texting

 

Senior Wit

Here's an oldie but a goodie I've shared before but it's so fun that when Meredith's Jack shared it again, I just had to share it.  Hope you enjoy!

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An elderly man in Louisiana has owned a large farm for several years.

The farm had a large, one acre pond, circular in shape, fed by a creek at the back of the property. He planted several apple and peach trees, mowed the grass and added a picnic table, horseshoe court and a BBQ grill.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, to look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring home some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

He approached nearer and saw several young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence, which caused them to swim toward the deep end of the pond.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave."

The old man replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked, or make you get out of the pond."

Holding the bucket up he said, "I came here to feed the alligator."

Some old men can still think fast.

The Journey

Religious Squirrels

Haven't shared anything from Meredith's Jack for a while...here's a real good one! Hope you enjoy!

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The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.

But the Catholic church came up with a very creative strategy! They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue. They took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel since.