AMBIGUITY…

For those who love words…and we have a lot of those out here in blogland…I hope you enjoy what Meredith's Jack shared.!

FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH:

1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA…FLOOR.

2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.

3. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?

4. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.

5. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.

6. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

7. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?

8. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

9. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?

10. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"

11. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?

12. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?

13. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?

14. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL BREAK-IN AND CLEAN THEM?

15. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?

16. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?

17. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MUTE, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?

18. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?

19. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?

20. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?

21. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.

22. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?

23. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?

24. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?

25. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?

26. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?

27. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?

28. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASSTEROIDS"?

29. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?

30. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?

31. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DOES HE BECOME DISORIENTED?

32. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?

33. WHY DO SHOPS HAVE SIGNS, 'GUIDE DOGS ONLY', THE DOGS CAN'T READ AND THEIR OWNERS ARE BLIND?

Spectacular Words

 

As words are the way we can express ourselves, if you hope to be more successful in life, or just want to be understood more clearly, it's important to expand your vocabulary.
 
These seven particular words are truly spectacular and you really should start using them on a regular basis.
 
Imbroglio

Imbroglio refers to a very complicated, confusing or embarrassing situation. For example, "that police officer found it hard to understand the imbroglio that caused the two neighbors to begin throwing rotten eggs at each other."

 
Limerence

Limerence refers to the intense infatuation felt in the very early stages as a romance. For example, "She was feeling an incredible sense of limerence toward her new boyfriend."

 
Ephemeral

Of course, those feelings of limerence usually don't last long. Ephemeral means something that lasts for just a very short time. "My feelings about him were ephemeral; they left as quickly as they arrived."

 
Petrichor

Petrichor refers to that wonderful smell that follows the rain. "The air was ripe with the pleasant, dewy petrichor of the post-rain afternoon."

 
Mellifluous

Mellifluous refers to a smooth, pleasant, musical sound: "When the snakes heard the mellifluous sounds coming from the flute, they began to crawl back into the basket."

 
Vellichor

That strange wistfulness of used bookstores, which are somehow infused with the passage of time: filled with thousands of old books you’ll never have time to read, each of which is itself locked in its own era, bound and dated and papered over like an old room the author abandoned years ago.
“The moment the scent of lignin hit her nostrils she was overcome with vellichor."

 
Propinquity

Propinquity means nearness in place or time.
"The propinquity of Emma's bedroom to that of her parents’ makes it difficult for her to sneak out of the house at night."

Courtesy of Earthables