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Saturday, June 25, 2016

Not Saving

This story has been passed around for years but is still meaningful and something to really think about.
 
My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister’s bureau and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. “This,” he said, “is not a slip. This is lingerie.” He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached.
 
“Jan bought this the first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is the occasion.” He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me. “Don’t ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you’re alive is a special occasion.”
 
I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane returning to California from the Midwestern town where my sister’s family lives. I thought about all the things that she hadn’t seen or heard or done. I thought about the things that she had done without realizing that they were special.
 
I’m still thinking about his words, and they’ve changed my life. I’m reading more and dusting less. I’m sitting on the deck and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I’m spending more time with my family and friends and less time in committee meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to savor, not endure. I’m trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them.
 
I’m not “saving” anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event-such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia blossom.
 
I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries without wincing. I’m not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my party-going friends’.
 
“Someday” and “one of these days” are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it’s worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now. I’m not sure what my sister would have done had she known that she wouldn’t be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted. I think she would have called family members and a few close friends. She might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think she would have gone out for a Chinese dinner, her favorite food. I’m guessing-I’ll never know.
 
It’s those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good Friends whom I was going to get in touch with-someday. Angry because I hadn’t written certain letters that I intended to write-one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn’t tell my husband and daughter often enough how much I truly love them. I’m trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives.
 
And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special.
 
Every day, every minute, every breath truly is a gift.
 
Most people these days don’t cherish their time. But time is all we have.

12 comments:

  1. Cat,
    This post is the very best of all of yours. So true. We often say to one another, "if not now. when". Excellent!
    Meredith

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Mere...happy you and Jack have that attitude!

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

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  2. When I lost my father at 18, I learned this lesson but I can be a little dense. I learned it again when my oldest was little. To much time spent being in a hurry. To much energy spent on having well groomed kids and a clean house. My house is messy, my kids know they are loved and I wear classic 40s and 50s style dresses everywhere! Grocery shopping, power walking at the park, camping. You only get one life and you never know when it is your turn to say goodbye.

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    1. So very true, Rose! Dragon and your children are very lucky to have you!

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  3. Thank you for sharing this Cat, a very good lesson!

    Hugs
    Roz

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    Replies
    1. You're welcome, Roz...happy you enjoyed it.

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  4. Hi Cat, I love this, and the message is so true. Meredith's 'If not now, when' sums it up nicely too. It is awesome to make the best out of a day, spending time with family and friends, and why wait?! Suddenly we could lose the chance for good, so being with the ones we love and making it quality time, using the good china and making every day special is what we should do. It surely does not happen every day, but I like this a lot and I am glad to have this as a reminder too.

    hugs

    Nina

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    1. I very much agree with you, Nina...never know.

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

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  5. What a great post Cat, very wise words. We often say make the most of each day as you never know what tomorrow brings.
    Hugs Lindy

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    1. So very true, Lindy...happy you enjoyed it.

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  6. This was a good reminder. I'm gonna grab all my nice pretty dresses "that are for special occasions" and wear them!!

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    Replies
    1. Good for you, Fondles...happy to hear that!

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete

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