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Friday, November 27, 2015

Redneck

Yes, the new one is out!  The new edition of, "You know you're a redneck when..."
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.

6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

7.You offer to give someone the shirt off your back, and they don't want it.

8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

29. You missed your 6th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

14 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Aww Sunny...they're not all bad characteristics. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  2. Hands down, my favorite was the salad bowls with "Cool Whip" on the sides! Ha!
    Love you, Cat!

    Hugs From Ella

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So happy you enjoyed them Ella...you like that they have a complete set, eh? ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  3. LOL good to learn I'm not a redneck. Thanks Cat for the laugh.
    Hugs Lindy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcome Lindy...not even a hint of redneck in ya? ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  4. I don't even get half of these.... Why would a wife climb a tree fast? Explain.
    Guess I'm not a redneck!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ROFL Minelle...you are too funny. Many times, people put their hunting blinds in a tree and the wife might either be hunting with him or bringing him refreshments. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  5. Hi Cat, obviously I have never met a redneck! Charming characteristics!
    love Jan,xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL Jan..."Charming characteristics?" You are too funny. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  6. Hi Cat, loved them, I think the one with the curtains in the car is my favourite. :) Thank you for the laugh.

    hugs

    Nina

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcome Nina...that is a good one isn't it. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  7. Okay. I see how it is. A self proclaimed red neck has informed me that I am NOT a red neck and never will be. That said, ammo and a new gun is at the top of my list. 45 long colts are expensive and I use a lot of them. My grouping is tight but slightly off center.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL Rose...I'm not a redneck either but do love my guns and you are right...ammo is so expensive! If your grouping is consistently a bit off center, you might consider that your site or scope, whichever you are using, needs adjusting. What kind of new gun do you want?

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete

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