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Tuesday, November 24, 2015


Received the following in an email and just had to pass it along! Open-mouthed smile

Men often make jokes about women.  Some of them are even funny.  So I'm sure they won't mind a little fun at their expense!

Q: Why do men become smarter during  sex?  
A:  Because they are plugged into a genius.

Q: Why don't women blink during  sex?  
A:  They don't have enough time.  

Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? 
A:  They  don't stop to ask directions.  

Q: Why do men snore when they lie on their backs?  
A:  Because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock.   woman laughing
You're laughing, aren't you?!   

Q: Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A:  So they won't hump women's legs at cocktails  parties. 

Q: Why did god make men before  women?  
A:  You  need a rough draft before you make a final  copy.  

Q: How many men does it take to put a toilet seat  down?  
A:  Don't know. It never happened.  

C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!   

And my personal favorite:  

Q: Why did god put men on earth?  
A:  Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter  in your heart. Then you are just an old sour fart! 

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to  wash his sweatshirt.  Seconds after he  stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
'What setting do I use on the washing  machine?' 
'It depends,' I replied. 'What  does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, '  University of  Oklahoma.'
And they say blondes are dumb... 

A  couple is lying in bed. 
The man says,
'I  am going to make you the happiest woman in the  world.' 
The woman replies, 
'I'll miss  you...'

'It's  just too hot to wear clothes today,'  Jack says  as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do  you think the neighbors would think if I mowed  the lawn like this?' 

'Probably that I  married you for your money,' she  replied.

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? 
A: A rumor. 

The Woman's Prayer
Dear  Lord, 
I pray for Wisdom to understand my  man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods.  Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,  I'll beat him to death.  

Q:  Why do little boys  whine?  
A:  They are practicing to be  men.

Q:  What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? 
A:  You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

Q:  How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A:  Rename the mail folder  'Instruction Manual.' 


  1. Cat,
    Now this is a switch........ I am sending this post to Jack.

    1. LOL'll have to let us know what his reaction is. ;)

      Hugs and blessings..Cat

  2. Replies
    1. You're very welcome Renee...happy you enjoyed them. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

  3. Hi Cat, Oh I am laughing, hubby is grimacing! lol
    love Jan,xx

    1. Happy you enjoyed them Jan...even happier that hubby is grimacing. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

  4. Hi Cat. they are all so funny. Love the one about the man snoring. LOL!
    Happy thanks giving.
    Hugs Lindy

    1. Happy you enjoyed them Lindy...that is a good one isn't it. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

  5. Oh Cat brilliant. Funny. Thanks for the laugh.


    1. You're welcome Ronnie...happy you enjoyed them. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

  6. Replies
    1. You're welcome Terps...happy you enjoyed. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

  7. LoL, I like these, too funny. I think the first one, about being plugged in, is my favourite. :) Thank you for the good laugh, Cat.



    1. You are very welcome Nina...happy you enjoyed them. Did you share them with hubby? ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

    2. Not yet. I am waiting for the right moment, though. :)

  8. Cat,
    They are just so brilliant. I am going to steal them for my "secret mens business" club...I will either get a big laugh or get lynched

    1. Happy you enjoyed them Don. Ooh hope you don't get lynched in your "secret mens business" club! You'll have to let us know their reactions. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

  9. Omg! That one about the pillow??!! So funny!

    1. Happy you enjoyed them Minelle...that is a good one isn't it. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat


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