Top 7 Worst Website Names

1. Whorepresents.com

(Who Represents)

2. Expertsexchange.com

(Experts Exchange)

3. Penisland.net

(Pen Island)

4. Therapistfinder.com

(Therapist Finder)

5. Molestationnursery.com

(Mole Station Nursery)

6. Speedofart.com

(Speed of Art)

7. Cummingfirst.com

(A website to Cummings Methodist Church)

courtesy of http://9gag.com/

Think these people should have thought before they registered their domains.  LOL

Quesadilla Pie

Ok, I told you I would share something with no Caribbean seasoning in it so here it is. Yes, there is a bit of cilantro but hey, give me a break!

When you are busy and/or have a large crowd to feed, this is much easier than making multiple quesadillas. 

1 pie serves 4

Ingredients:
2 pounds chopped or shredded cooked chicken
2 cups chunky salsa, divided
3 (7 1/2 inch-diameter) flour tortillas
1 1/2 cups shredded cheddar cheese, divided
1 cup raw baby spinach
2 cups shredded cabbage
1/2 cup cilantro
2 tomatoes – chopped

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.
2. In a large bowl, combine the chicken and 1 cup of the salsa. Stir until combined.
3. Spread 1/2 cup of the salsa onto the bottom of a 9-inch deep-dish pie plate.
4. Lay first tortillas into the pie plate on top of salsa.
5. Top with half of the chicken mixture.
6. Sprinkle with 1/2 cup of shredded cheddar cheese.
7. Layer with 1/2 cup spinach.
8. Layer with second tortillas.
9. Repeat layering the chicken mixture, cheese and spinach once more.
10. Top with the remaining tortilla, 1/2 cup salsa and 1/2 cup cheddar cheese.
11. Cover with foil and bake 20 minutes.
12. While pie is baking, mix shredded cabbage with chopped cilantro.
13. Remove foil and bake 5 minutes more, or until the cheese melts.
14. Let cool slightly before slicing into wedges.
15. Top each wedge with shredded cabbage/cilantro mix and chopped tomato.

Notes:

• I usually buy boneless, skinless chicken pieces, roast them, then cool and shred.
• You could roast a whole chicken, cool it, then remove the skin and shred.
• I have also bought a cooked rotisserie chicken, removed the skin and shredded the meat.
• I use medium salsa but you can use hot or mild – whichever you and your family prefer – you could make one medium and one hot if you want.
• Very easy to make multiple pies – add 5 minutes baking time if you make 2 pies and 15 minutes if you make 3 pies.
• I usually serve with spiced black beans on the side but you could substitute refried beans or Spanish rice or nothing.

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask and if you try the recipe, as always, I would love any feedback you would care to give.

Hope you enjoy!

Real Heroes

When times are tough and you get frustrated, picture your HoH while you read the quote below and then listen to the song.

Real heroes are men who fall and fail and are flawed, but win out in the end because they've stayed true to their ideals and beliefs and commitments.
- Kevin Costner

*Lyrics*
Hold on, to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you're not alone
Cause I'm going to make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you're not alone
Cause I'm going to make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you're not alone
Cause I'm going to make this place your home

Hope you enjoy.

Ouch! Ahhhh...

For whatever reason (maintenance, discipline, punishment, reset, fun, stress relief, etc.), you ended up 

And now...

Ooh so hard!

Dang! This SO does NOT feel good!

 Maybe....

Eeeeeeasy..

 

Ahhhh...Much better!

 

 

I see that HoH'y grin on your face but at least I can sit comfortably.

Ok you HoH's might think this a joke but someone has created a wonderful product!

  Even conforms to sore bottoms

          

 If everyone joined together, we could place a bulk order with at least two for each of us.  

Think we could get a group discount?

Just think how much more comfortable life would be!  LOL

This is actually a product sold on TV. You can see it here https://www.forevercomfytv.com/.

Hope you enjoy. :)

If you enjoyed this, you can thank Susie over at Her Mischief Managed for sending me the idea. But if you are offended, leave your nasty comments here (if you must) and leave Susie alone.

Murphys Law for Moms

So very true! :)

Proof Reader Needed

These are actual excerpts from church bulletins. LOL

"This evening at 7 pm there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin."

“National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."

“A bean supper will be held Saturday evening in the church basement. Music will follow."

"The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning."

"Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa."

"The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir. "

"Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get."

"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."

"Thursday night — Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow."

“Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our congregation."

"Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones."

"When parking on the north side of the church, please remember to park on an angel."

"This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Jones to come forward and lay an egg on the altar."

"Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days."

"At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?” Come early and listen to our bell choir practice."

"The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I upped My Pledge - Up Yours."

"The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility."

" For those who have children and don't know it, there is a nursery downstairs."

"The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy."

"Men's Prayer Breakfast. No charge, but your damnation will be gratefully accepted."

"Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time."

"Applications are now being accepted for 2 year-old nursery workers."

courtesy of  http://www.beliefnet.com/

Hope you enjoy. :)

 

Banned From eBay

Can you believe it?

I thought it was a million dollar idea! ;-)

Who would've thought they would be so narrow-minded!  LOL

Have a great weekend.

Glass Men and Women

Scottish artist Rob Mulholland created 6 glass men and women and placed them in a forest, to "reflect the past inhabitants of the space."

https://www.facebook.com/UNBfacts

There was just something so hauntingly beautiful in this pic, I just had to share it!

Caribbean Shrimp & Coconut Soup

If you haven't figured it out yet, I love the spices of the Caribbean. I cook with a lot of Caribbean seasonings and add cilantro to just about everything but I promise that the next recipe I post will be something different than "Caribbean". :-)

This recipe serves 4

Ingredients:

• 8 green onions or scallions – thinly sliced
• 2 cloves garlic – minced
• 2 teaspoons Caribbean (or Jamaican) Jerk Seasoning – can always increase after tasting
• 2 tablespoons peanut oil
• 1 cup coconut milk
• 3 cups chicken stock
• ½ lemon – sliced
• 6 to 8 ounces uncooked small shrimp – peeled and deveined (be sure to remove tails)
• 4 tablespoons chopped cilantro
• 1/8 teaspoon red pepper flakes (optional) – can always increase after tasting
• 2 cups cooked basmati rice

         Or

• ½ cup uncooked small soup pasta

Directions:

1. Heat oil in a large pot over medium heat.

2. Stir in onion and garlic; cook and stir until the onion has softened, about 3 minutes.

3. Whisk together the coconut milk, chicken stock and Jerk Seasoning until smooth.

4. Pour into pot.

5. Add lemon slices and bring to a boil.

If using rice, skip to step 7

6. Add soup pasta.

7. Simmer half covered for 10 – 12 minutes (or if using pasta, until it is tender) stirring occasionally.

8. Add red pepper flakes.

9. Remove the lemon slices.

10. Add the shrimp.

11. Simmer 2 – 3 minutes until shrimp turns pink (watch carefully so that shrimp is not overcooked).

12. Remove from heat.

13. Stir in cilantro.

If you added the pasta, skip to step 15

14. Place ½ cup rice in each bowl and ladle soup over rice.

15. Ladle soup in bowl.

  

Notes:

• You can use whatever cooking oil you want if you do not have or do not want to use peanut oil. I just like the taste of the peanut oil with the coconut.
• If you do not care for or cannot find Basmati rice, use whatever rice you prefer.
• Take it easy with the spices – only add more after the soup has simmered a bit (step 7). The longer it simmers, the spicier it becomes.
• If you are a vegetarian, simply eliminate the shrimp; substituting your favorite vegetables.
• I usually serve this with thin slices of toasted bread. Of course, you can serve whatever your family favorite is but I would suggest staying away from heavy and/or thickly sliced breads since this soup is on the lighter side.
• If you do not have Caribbean or Jamaican Jerk Seasoning, it contains allspice, red pepper flakes, thyme, onion, and turmeric but I don’t really know the proportions.
• I cut this recipe down because it DOES NOT freeze well. Only cook what you will eat in 1 to 2 meals. If you reheat, DO NOT bring to a boil – heat as little as possible to warm thoroughly or you will toughen the shrimp.
• If you have a larger family, simply double or triple the measurements. My original recipe was triple to allow for at least two servings for each son plus whichever of their friends “just happened to stop by” at dinnertime. LOL

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask and if you try the recipe, I would love any feedback you would care to give.



Hope you enjoy!

Golf Course Warning

 

Wonder if this sign got their message across? LOL

DUI Checkpoint

You get pulled over in a "routine" DUI (Driving Under the Influence) traffic stop and even if you haven't been drinking, your stomach still drops!

Then...


The blood alcohol testing machine won't work!


Okay I can go on my way right?!


Wrong!


The police officers go to plan B to make sure you are not driving drunk.


They turn on a stereo, crank up the music, and ask you to perform a very complicated western dance with them in the middle of the street.

You want me to do Whaaaat?! Oh sheesh - I'll definitely flunk this! Absolutely not a rhythmic bone in my body!

Hope this starts your week off with a giggle.

Things My Mother Taught Me...

My mother taught me IRONY –

"Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about."



My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE WHAT I HAVE –

"It's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick."



My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE –

"If you're going to kill each other off, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"



My mother taught me RELIGION –

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."



My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"



My mother taught me LOGIC:

"Because I said so, that's why."



My mother taught me FORESIGHT –

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."



My mother taught me OSMOSIS –

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"



My mother taught me LOVE –

"You know that whatever happens, I'll always stand behind you."






Hope this gives you a bit of a grin and that you are enjoying your weekend.

How to Walk Your Human

For cats' eyes only! Keep your human healthy, happy and obedient with this 7-step guide to walking your human, instructed by Kodi the Kitten.

Enjoy!

One-Liners for Life…

Note: Since it had been a rough week for many in blogland, I had originally posted a video "45 Lessons in Life" which was soothing music and was inspirational (at least to me). However, it seems as if visitors are unable to see the video. I apologize for any frustration. Hopefully, I will find the problem and be able to repost next week.
-------------------


Life is the first gift, love is the second, and understanding the third.


Love, not time, heals all wounds.


To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world.


Finding your way down the path of life is easier and more enjoyable hand in hand with one who loves you.


Cherish the relationships we have with those who love us.


Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt, but it's the only way to live life completely.


Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.


Be aware of the blessings of friendship and know that to have a friend, you must be one in return.


Smile, share, listen and be available when you are needed.


You can live an entire life of never making a decision for fear of regrets only to wake up and find you've wasted your whole life.


Show me a man that never made a mistake and I'll show you a man that never made anything.


Open your arms to change but don't let go of your values.


Some people come into our lives and quickly go, some stay for a while and some leave footprints on our hearts and we are never, ever the same.


This day is yours - don't throw it away.


Sometimes things hurt, but it's okay to cry.


Don't be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality. If you can dream it, you can make it so.


Old age is fifteen years older than I am.


When you're in love, it shows.


Being kind is more important than being right.


Sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.


Money doesn't buy class.


The Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?


When you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.


No one is perfect until you fall in love with them.


I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.


Life is tough, but I'm tougher.

Bracelet for Sale

ROFLMBO!!!!!!

Funny Cats

Thought I'd share a few of my favorite pictures with you.

Hope these give you a giggle or at least a grin.

Stressed to the Max

We all have times of stress. Just remember - it is only temporary!

They Cut My Britches Off

If you've never heard of Mark Lowry, you have missed out on some laughs! This guy is just plain funny!! After watching this story of his motorcycle accident, you'll wanna YouTube more of him. He is a Baptist minister and the son-in-law to Bill and Gloria Gaither. His monologue starts about 25 seconds in.  ENJOY!

Hope this starts your week off with at least a smile!
 

Up All Night

Oh the memories this brings back! :)

5-Layer Flat Belly Dessert

Top Chef: Just Desserts host Gail Simmons shared something you never thought was possible: a fabulous and decadent dessert that can actually help flatten your belly. Each layer of this 5-layer dessert has an added benefit to keep your midsection trim.  If I remember correctly, this was on the Dr Oz Show but I could be wrong. Sorry, I can't find the email from the friend that sent this to me. :(

150 calories per 1 cup serving

Ingredients
1 box devil’s food cake mix
1 cup nonfat Greek yogurt
1 cup water
4 cups fat-free ricotta
1 cup coconut milk, well stirred
1 cup shredded, toasted sweetened coconut
4 tablespoons agave syrup
1/2 cup toasted oats
1/2 cup ground flaxseeds or flaxseed meal
1/2 cup finely chopped walnuts, lightly toasted if desired
4 cups total of any combination of fresh well-washed berries (strawberries, hulled and halved, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries)
2 ounces bittersweet chocolate, for shaving

Note: Ingredient quantities depend on size of pan. This recipe is for a 9-inch trifle dessert pan. Preheat oven to 350° F degrees.

Directions:
Prepare two 9-inch round cake pans with nonstick spray or butter and lightly flour each pan.

(Layer 1) In a large mixing bowl or stand mixer, combine the cake mix, yogurt, and water and mix well until no lumps remain. Divide batter evenly into prepared cake pans and bake for 30 to 35 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center of the cake emerges cleanly. Allow the cakes to cool completely in the pans.

Meanwhile, in a medium mixing bowl, mix the ricotta, coconut milk, shredded coconut and agave. With a rubber spatula, gently fold them together to fully combine. Remove the cake from its pan and place in desired glass dish with high sides. Evenly spread half of the whipped topping mixture on top of the cake (Layer 2).

In a large resealable bag, combine the oats, flaxseeds and walnuts. Seal the bag and shake well. Sprinkle half of the mixture evenly over the ricotta (Layer 3), then top with the berries to cover the whole cake surface (Layer 4).

Repeat all 4 layers with the other half of the ingredients. Using a vegetable peeler, shave the bittersweet chocolate decoratively over the top (Layer 5). Serve dessert by scooping portions of the cake and all its layers into shallow bowls.

Enjoy!

Trolls

No, I have not been bothered by trolls again but several of my friends in blogland have been. If you have been bothered by them, feel free to copy this picture and post it on your site. ;-)



Who are you!?



One of Those Weeks

If you have had "one of those weeks", the drink on the left is for you! ;)

If you have had a good week, stick with the drink on the right.

Enjoy whichever you choose. LOL

Have a great weekend!

Top Ten Sex Laws

Yup - thought that would get your attention! 

  
Sure you want to see them?

   

 
Last chance to exit!
  


 
Still here?




Kids out of the room?




Ok,  your choice...


 


Ya gotta wonder what people were doing (and where!) to cause some of these laws to be passed!  LOL

Why God Made Moms

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?

1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms & dads?

1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? (The answers to this question are my absolute favorite!)

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

I'll bet the pink text answers would be different in many DD/TTWD homes. LOL

Hope this gives you a good laugh or at least a giggle!!!

Losing Weight

UPDATE
I apologize, I forgot about sunnygirl of Aimless Ramblings and didn't know about Minelle of My Breath - this is for you also. 

If there is anyone else I have overlooked, please accept my apologies and know that I am cheering you on also.

In honor of Lillie of Ian & Lillie's Place and Blue Bird of A New Road.

So proud of you!

Go ladies!!!!

Monday at the Office

 

 

 



Have a great week!

How Smart is Your Right Foot

https://www.facebook.com/UNBfacts

Bet ya'll tried it. LOL

Friendly Rivalry

Too "friendly"?  LOL

Have a great weekend!

Can You Cry Under Water?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...

But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"?

Where's that extra penny going?



How important does a person have to be

Before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?



Once you're in heaven,

Do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?



Why does a round pizza come in a square box?



What disease did cured ham actually have?



How is it that we put man on the moon

Before we figured out it would be

A good idea to put wheels on luggage?



Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby"

When babies wake up like every two hours?



If a deaf person has to go to court,

Is it still called a hearing?



Why are you IN a movie,

But you're ON TV?



Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then

Put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?



Why do doctors leave the room while you change?

They're going to see you naked anyway.



Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?



Why do toasters always have a setting

That burns the toast to a horrible crisp,

Which no decent human being would eat?



If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares,

Why is there a stupid song about him?



Can a hearse carrying a corpse

Drive in the carpool lane?



If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut,

Why can't he fix a hole in a boat?



Why does Goofy stand erect

While Pluto remains on all fours?

They're both dogs!



If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap,

Why didn't he just buy dinner?



If corn oil is made from corn, and

Vegetable oil is made from vegetables,

What is baby oil made from?



If electricity comes from electrons,

Does morality come from morons?



Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?



Why did you just try singing the two songs above?



Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere,

But call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?



Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,

But when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

I'm sure I will receive some very creative answers! :D

Bridge Repair

Looks like my favorite "tool" in JUMBO size!  LOL

Why You Shouldn't Take Your Husband to Wal-Mart

Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired, and Mrs. Fenton insists her husband go with her to Wal-Mart, but he gets bored with all the shopping trips. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse. The following letter was sent to Mrs. Fenton.

 

 

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

 

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below.

 

Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in Wal-Mart:

• June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
• July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
• July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
• July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, ‘Code 3' in house wares..... and watched what happened.
• August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
• September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
• September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
• September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
• October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
• November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
• December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
• December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
• December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
• December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

And last, but not least.....

• December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

Regards,

Wal-Mart

 

  

Quick Note

Hey Everyone

The next month is going to be super busy at work - long hours and lots of meetings. :(   

Since I have not had any trolls pop back in, I am turning off moderation so that you will know that your comment has been posted. Trolls - if you're lurking, this is not your forum and I can turn moderation back on if I have to.

I will try to respond to comments as soon as I can but please be patient if it takes a while. Of course, I have no clue as to why I have to attend some of these meetings so if I can multi-task and answer comments while listening to the meeting, I will. ;)

Blessings,
Cat