Adult Content Warning

You have entered a site intended for ADULTS ONLY. If you are under the age of 18, or if it is illegal to view such material in your community, please exit this site immediately. This site contains mature content including but not limited to; articles, discussions, pictures and other materials that some people may find offensive. If such materials offend you, please exit this site immediately.

Friday, July 24, 2015

Retirement

Meredith’s Jack over at New Twist, After All These Years is at it again and sent another good giggle.  Hope you enjoy as much as I did!

*****************************

One day a man decided to retire...

retiring man 1

He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.

retiring man 2

He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.

retiring man 3

After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.



In disbelief, he asks,"Where did you come from?  How did you get here?"

She replies, "I rowed over from the other side of the island where I landed when my cruise ship sank."



"Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you."

"Oh, this thing?" explains the woman.  "I made the boat out of some raw material I found on the island.  The oars were whittled from gum tree branches.  I wove the bottom from palm tree branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."



"But, where did you get the tools?"

"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed.  I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron and I used that to make tools and used the tools to make the hardware."



The guy is stunned.

"Let's row over to my place," she says "and I'll give you a tour."



So, after a short time of rowing, she soon docks the boat at a small wharf.

As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat.  Before him is a long stone walk leading to a cabin and tree house.

retiring man 4

While the woman ties up the row boat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck.

As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Please sit down.  Would you like a drink?"



"No! No thank you," the man blurts out, still dazed.  "I can't take another drop of coconut juice."

"Oh it's not coconut juice," winks the woman.  "I have a still.  How would you like a Tropical Spritz?"


retiring man 5

Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk.

After they exchange their individual survival stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable.  Would you like to take a shower and shave?  There's a razor in the bathroom cabinet upstairs."


No longer questioning anything, the man goes upstairs into the bathroom.  There, in the cabinet is a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone.  Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism.

"This woman is amazing," he muses."What's next?"


When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but some small flowers on tiny vines, each strategically positioned, she smelled faintly of gardenias. 

She then beckons for him to sit down next to her.


"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've both been out here for many months.  You must have been lonely.  When was the last time you played around?” 


She stares into his eyes.


He can't believe what he's hearing.  "You mean..." he swallows excitedly as tears start to form in his eyes,
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
"You've built a Golf Course?"


retiring man 6

14 comments:

  1. Sheesh it has been a long time for this guy!
    😜

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sure has Minelle...:D

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  2. Cat,
    We are both giggling.
    Meredith and Jack

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's a good one Mere...thanks to Jack for sharing.

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  3. oh my word, the poor woman had to find him!!
    love Jan,xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So sad isn't it Jan. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  4. I was already wearing my Saturday Smile, but this is a delightful reason to laugh aloud! Must get Sam to read this one.

    Hugs to you!
    Ella

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hope Sam enjoys this as much as you did Ella. Happy Saturday. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  5. LoL, they will both be sooo disappointed! Thank you for the good laugh, Cat.

    hugs

    Nina

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I so agree Nina but I feel sorrier for her than for him. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  6. Thank you Cat and Jack that was fantastic. She might have to hit him over the head to knock some sense into him. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy you enjoyed it Lindy...not a bad idea. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  7. Oh lol, this is priceless! Disappointment all round lol. Thanks Jack and Cat for the giggle :)

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcome Roz...happy you enjoyed it...maybe she'll take Lindy's idea and then at least one if not both of them will be satisfied. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete

Thanks for stopping by. Respectful comments are always welcome.