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Friday, January 23, 2015

Ramblings of a Retired Mind...

 
I found this timely, because today I was in a store that sells sunglasses, and only sunglasses.  A young lady walks over to me and asks, "what brings you in today?"   I looked at her, and said, “I'm interested in buying a refrigerator.”  She didn't quite know how to respond. Am I getting to be that age?
 
I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse.  I can't afford one.  So I'm wearing my garage door opener.
 
I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what they call "blue teeth", I think.
 
You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.
 
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!
 
I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce it.
 
I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and call it 'Pumping Rust'.
 
I've gotten that dreaded furniture disease.  That's when your chest is falling into your drawers!
 
When people see a cat's litter box they always say, 'Oh, have you got a cat?'  Just once I want to say, 'No, it's for company!'
 
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency. I think you should write, 'An ambulance.'
 
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then it dawned on me.  They were cramming for their finals. As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.
 
The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
 
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
 
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.
 
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
 
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs...'
 
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
 
Some people try to turn back their "odometers." Not me.  I want people to know 'why' I look this way.  I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
 
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
 
Ah! Being young is beautiful but being old is comfortable.

Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.

14 comments:

  1. There are so many good ones here I can't even pick one! Thanks Cat!

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    1. You're welcome Minelle! I can't pick just one or two either. ;)

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

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  2. A friend sent me this today...or was it yesterday...or maybe???
    lol
    hugs abby

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    1. LOL Abby...a friend sent this to me also...not quite sure which day...must be making the rounds around email. ;)

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

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  3. Hi Cat, there are lots of true sayings amongst these. Hope you have a good weekend
    love Jan, xx

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    1. Happy you enjoyed them Jan...hope you are having a good weekend also. ;)

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

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  4. This is great Cat, love it! Thank you for sharing :)

    Hugs
    Roz

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    Replies
    1. You're very welcome Roz...so happy you enjoyed these. ;)

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

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  5. Hi Cat, these are great, and some are so true! Thank you for the giggle and have a wonderful weekend.

    hugs

    Nina

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    1. You're welcome Nina...happy you enjoyed them. Hope you're having a wonderful weekend also. ;)

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

      Delete
  6. These are great and since I'm in that age group, I really do respond that way IRL to stupid questions.

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    1. Happy you enjoyed them Sunny...I don't have to be of a 'certain' age...I've always responded that way to stupid questions. ;)

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

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  7. This is really great. I am really starting to identify with all the things that are mentioned. I do like the sunglasses one and the cat littler box one. Ty has called me at home and asked where I was, like as if he had called my cell.

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    1. Happy you enjoyed them Blondie. The sunglasses and cat litter are two of my favorites. LOL Next time Ty calls the house and asks that question, give him this answer "hmm, not quite sure, let me look around and see if I see anything familiar." ;)

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

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