Adult Content Warning

You have entered a site intended for ADULTS ONLY. If you are under the age of 18, or if it is illegal to view such material in your community, please exit this site immediately. This site contains mature content including but not limited to; articles, discussions, pictures and other materials that some people may find offensive. If such materials offend you, please exit this site immediately.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Memo

To:  All Employees
Subject:  S.H.I.T.

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and Productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.).

We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the course, please see your supervisor. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list and our supervisors are especially skilled at seeing you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Employees who don’t take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.).

Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.).

Since our supervisors took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don’t have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T. you may be interested in a job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.).

For employees who are intending to pursue a career in management and consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T.). This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T.

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.).

Thank you,
BOSS IN GENERAL,
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G.S.H.I.T.)

and
The Director Under the Main Bureau of Super High Intensity Training. (The D.U.M.B.S.H.I.T.).

9 comments:

  1. Hee hee, you always make me laugh ;)

    Hugs to you!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. OH MY-- the truth is hard to take, and oh so funny!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think I've seen this memo going around my workplace before. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you Cat, I just remembered why I stopped working in Management and Consulting.
    Too much shit can kill you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. LoL Cat, I think my organisation could definitely have sent this memo .. in fact, I'm sure I've seen similar ones issued at work!

    Hugs,
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
  6. this was great! Made me laugh :-) thankfully I'm self-employed

    ReplyDelete
  7. As Starman is doing Consultancy tomorrow with a room full of Wankers (sorry! Bankers!) I have passed this on to him! Well, he always says he 'bullshits' his way through many of the sessions!

    Many hugs

    Ami

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for stopping by. Respectful comments are always welcome.