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Friday, January 18, 2013

The Amazing Scotsman

A salesman drove into a small town in the Highlands where a circus was in progress. A sign read: 'Don't miss ROBERT, The Amazing Scotsman'.

The salesman bought a ticket and sat down.

There on an illuminated center stage, was a table with three walnuts on it. Standing next to it was an old Scotsman.

Suddenly the old man lifted his kilt, whipped out a huge willie and smashed all three walnuts with three mighty swings.

The crowd erupted in applause as the elderly Scot was carried off on the shoulders of the crowd.


Ten years later the salesman visited the same little town and saw a faded sign for the same circus and the same sign 'Don't miss ROBERT The Amazing Scotsman'.

He couldn't believe the old man was still alive, much less still doing that particular act.

He bought a ticket.

Again, the center ring was illuminated.

This time, however, instead of walnuts, three coconuts were placed on the table.

The Scotsman stood before them, then suddenly lifted his kilt and shattered the coconuts with three swings of his impressive appendage.

The crowd went wild.

Flabbergasted, the salesman requested a meeting with him after the show.

'You're incredible!' he told the Scotsman. 'But I have to know something. You're older now, why switch from walnuts to coconuts?'

'Well laddie,' said Robert, 'Ma eyes are no' whit they used tae be.'
 

Hmmm…fact or fiction? LOL

22 comments:

  1. Too funny Cat Thanks for the laugh

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    1. You're welcome Ellie May, happy you enjoyed it. ;)

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  2. BWAH! Now I did not expect that! I guffawed out loud, the boys want to know why I'm laughing. We're telling them I we can't tell them, lol.

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    1. LOL June - Happy you enjoyed it. Just remember to bookmark one of the vanilla jokes (e.g., the cat walking his human) and then you can share that with them. ;)

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  3. Oh my....soooo funny! I am goin tae share this whit 'MY' Scotsman!

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    1. LOL Minelle - Your Scotsman will probably swear it's all true! ;)

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  4. LOL that was so funny. I didn't see that coming. Thanks for the laugh Cat :)

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. You're welcome Roz. So happy you enjoyed it. ;)

      Hugs and Blessings,
      Cat

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  5. When his eyes get even worse, I suppose there will be a job opportunity.
    I will have to do some training.
    Dang, do you know what a dozen Coconuts costs around here?

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    1. LOL Bas. It will be a while before that job opens up. Meanwhile, you can start with the walnuts and then work up to the coconuts. ;)

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  6. " Whipped out a huge willie?" Not sure I could smash 3 walnuts even with my little fists of fury. Definitely sure I don't want to be stored under and Older Scotman's kilt!

    Much Love
    W

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    1. Hey Willie - Don't see Barney allowing you under any Scotsman's kilt, old or young, so ya don't have to worry about smashing anything. LOL

      Love and Blessings,
      Cat

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  7. ROFL - this is one for Ian to ponder. Thank you, God for kilted men!
    hugs
    lillie

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    1. ROFL Lillie - when Ian is done pondering, please share his conclusion. ;) So right about kilted men! mmmm

      Hugs and Blessings,
      Cat

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  8. I just read this to my husband and of course he laughed! He said, 'now there's a true Scotsman. Then I read him my comment. He said the word is not whit it is wae! He always makes fun of my fake accent.

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    1. LOL Minelle, thanks for letting us know his reaction. Guess you'll need to work on that accent. ;)

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