Adult Content Warning

You have entered a site intended for ADULTS ONLY. If you are under the age of 18, or if it is illegal to view such material in your community, please exit this site immediately. This site contains mature content including but not limited to; articles, discussions, pictures and other materials that some people may find offensive. If such materials offend you, please exit this site immediately.

Friday, July 31, 2015

Mom’s Letter to Kids

moms letter

This mom wrote a letter to her children that perfectly sums up what summer’s like with kids…

Hey Kids,

Feel free to leave your stuff wherever you want this summer. Half-finished smoothies in the family room? No problem. I got it. Socks in the hall. I’m on it. Dishes in the sink? Keep ’em coming. Legos? Everywhere? Love it. Oh, and feel free to drag your blankets all over the house and abandon them the moment you no longer want them. I’ll fold them lovingly for you and return them to your rooms.

 

And doors? Shutting them is optional. I’m right behind you, so, seriously, don’t worry about it. I love when the wasps get in and the air conditioning gets out. Who are we to be sequestered in our climate-controlled house? Open door policy in this house. We have endless money.

 

And it’s totally fine to leave your wet bathing suits and towels on any surface, from the floor to the banister. I love heaps, but be creative! Oh, and putting them on painted wood surfaces is the best. I’ll grab them so they don’t warp the wood. You’re busy. Stop. Get back to your Netflix. Friends is not going to binge-watch itself.

 

And let me know when you are hungry. Don’t be encumbered by normal meal times. And please don’t coordinate with each other. The kitchen is open 24/7, and I’m happy to whip up anything you need, whenever you need it. I majored in short-order cooking.

 

And if you make something yourself, just leave every single item exactly where you last needed it. Milk, too. If it goes bad… I’ll just buy more. Money? Please. I’ll just work more. And I’ve got the clean-up. I will walk in your footsteps and put things away. It’s fun for me to live vicariously through your cooking. Like, Wow, how did they get so much shredded cheese on the counter? Impressive.

 

And every time you are thirsty… get a new glass. We have tons. And a dishwasher I love to load and unload. Not to mention, as far as I know, endless electricity and water. The world is our oyster.

 

And if something comes up with your friends? I’m in. I’ll drive you there or back — or, hell, both. I mean, I have a car and a license. I should put it to good use. And please, no need to give me any advance notice. I can easily stop whatever I’m doing, even work, to take you. I know how valuable your time is. Need some money for the movies? You got it, kiddo.

 

And to the little one, when you feel like it, I’ll take you to the pool. Before we go, you can complain and squirm while I put on your sunscreen. Don’t hold back. Just be you. Express how you’re feeling. It is cold, isn’t it? I love the challenge you pose me by inching away slowly as I’m applying it. Good stretch for my arms and back. Kind of you to think of me.

 

And just one thing on goggles. I’m on it. Don’t bother to keep track of yours. I’ve made it my summer mission to know where your goggles are at all times (in the car… left side… wedged in between the seats). At night, I’m sleeping with them under my pillow. We can’t be too careful. How will you swim without them?

 

Just a few last-minute housekeeping items: Eye rolling? Yes! I love the immediate feedback on my thoughts and ideas. How else can I gauge if I’m pleasing you or not? Showering? Optional. You know what’s best. I defer to you. Wearing a hat? No way. The more sun the better. Chores? Just tell me when it’s a good time for you. The weeds and messes aren’t going anywhere.

 

One last thing… please always wear your headphones so that you can’t hear me when I’m talking to you. Communication is totally overrated. Little-known fact about me: I love yelling things at the top of my lungs three or four times with no response. It’s very cathartic. Look it up.

 

Well, call me crazy, but if you guys follow all of these guidelines, I think this summer is going to be a win for all of us.

 

Or, if you don’t understand sarcasm, you won’t make it until July. Either way…

 

Love you guys.





Courtesy of Viral Slot

22 comments:

  1. Oh , I wish I had thought of something like this when my kids were kids....love it!
    hugs abby

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was wishing the same thing when I read it Abby! ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  2. This is wonderful, I think I'll send it to my daughter,

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy you enjoyed it Sunny...hope your daughter does also. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  3. Cat,
    My mommy days all came roaring bac kwith this one, Cat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mine also Mere! ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  4. Sad to reflect on huh? Oh wait some of it was fun! Of course I'm not a perfect house keeper! Lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not a perfect housekeeper either Minelle...I keep telling everyone I'm allergic to housework! ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  5. Yup! This sums it up nicely! lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy you see the truth in it Lilli! ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  6. Happy Friday, Cat!
    I will skip back farther than my mommy days. At 10 years old, I was such a slob all summer long. Crafts at the park, hang at the pool, reading for 3 hours at a time, baseball in an empty lot, and as much junk food as possible. Would give a lot for a day like that!

    Thanks,
    Ella

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow Ella...I would give a lot to go back to those days also...crafting, reading, swimming and all while hanging with friends. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  7. Love it Cat, sounds about right. Hope you are having a great weekend :)

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy you enjoyed it Roz...am having a very busy weekend. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  8. Oh those days are long gone for me:(
    love Jan,xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You'll be getting them back once that grandbaby grows a bit Jan. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  9. LoL, I'll have to keep this in a safe place for later years. It might be very useful when Tilda and baby are teenagers. :) Love it. Thank you for sharing, wishing you a great weekend, Cat.

    hugs

    Nina

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Nina...would suggest you either create a folder on your computer or get a notebook and start filing away articles and ideas for you to use with Tilda and baby. Are you going to find out ahead of time if baby is a boy or girl? Sending lots of tummy tickles and hugs for Tilda. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
    2. Hi Cat, I am going to make a folder for these things. :) Oh, we are not going to find out ahead of time. I absolutely want the surprise, hubby will try to play along I think. He knows that I would be so disappointed if he spoiled that for me. So, I am just going to look away when the doc does the ultrasound. I mean, once the chance to find out has passed, I am more curious than ever and it is part of the fun to tease me with it, but I loved this moment when I finally got to know for real that I had a little baby girl. It was magical for me.
      Hubby is hoping for a boy now, but actually he is just proud and happy that we are going to have a baby again. It is after midnight here (insomnia and full moon hit me) and Tilda is a bit restless too, so she will either get her tummy tickles and hugs tonight, or first thing in the morning. :)

      hugs

      Nina

      Delete
    3. Sorry you are suffering from insomnia Nina. Whenever you find out the gender of the baby, it will be a surprise but many choose to wait until delivery so you are in good company. ;) Sending lots of prayers and positive energy that you have an easy pregnancy and baby is healthy...no matter what the gender.

      Hugs and blessing...Cat

      Delete
  10. this is great...made me smile :-) Hugs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy you enjoyed it Terps. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete

Thanks for stopping by. Respectful comments are always welcome.