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Wednesday, October 15, 2014

New Drugs For Women

D A M N I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.
 
ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering teenagers unconscious for up to two days.
 
E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
 
P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.
 
F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
 
M E N I C I L L I N
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. Can we get naked now?"
 
B U Y A G R A
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.
 
J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.
 
A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T!
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators or on airplanes.
 
N A G A M E T
When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.

12 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. LOL Minelle...all of them???? ;)

      Hugs and blessings...
      Cat

      Delete
  2. I'm already cured from a grumpy mood. I auspect they put nagamet in the drinking water supply.

    Thanks Cat,

    Han

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcome Han...so happy you are cured!!!! ;)

      Hugs and blessings...
      Cat

      Delete
  3. LoL Cat, love these! I could do with some Flipitor and Buyagra :)

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL Roz...I can also use some Flipitor when I'm driving and can always use Buyagra!!!! *teehee*

      Hugs and blessings...
      Cat

      Delete
  4. Hi Cat, I would like to try a few of these!!
    love Jan,xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If someone ever actually makes these, we'll all have to try some. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...
      Cat

      Delete
  5. Replies
    1. Happy to be of service Sunny. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...
      Cat

      Delete
  6. You forgot the link to place orders, and whether there are limits per household.
    ;-) ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ROFL Irishey! Sorry darlin'...haven't found them yet. Will post as soon as I find them! Then we will place bulk orders!!!! :D

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

      Delete

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