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Wednesday, March 12, 2014

And now…an Answer!

answer

I answered all other questions on the post where they were asked however, Missy left the following question:
I've read your life story and it really moved me, I do have a question for you, but feel free to ignore it if it is too personal. With what you've been through and experienced, how do you really feel towards discipline in an adult relationship?
My answer was:
Hmmm...I could write an entire post to answer that question (and I will) but short answer for now...I could not be in another relationship without DD.
 
Now here is my long answer:
If you're like Missy and have read my story, I don’t have to go into it, if not, you can just click on the My Life link on the upper right.
 
Bottom line, I had a DD relationship that was very good and then went bad, then a non-DD relationship and then an awesome DD relationship with Matthew.
 
Basically, I’ve had the best and the worst of DD/TTWD and for me, as bad as it can get, it makes a relationship so much better. 
 
If I was ever to be in another relationship and felt that it was starting to get serious, he and I would have to sit down and have a major discussion.  I would state very plainly that I expected him to be the leader of our relationship and would explain DD/TTWD to him if he didn’t know about it.
 
If he didn’t think that was something he could be happy with, I’m afraid I would have to call a halt to any more than friendship right then and there.   After having a relationship (between ex and Matthew) that was non-DD, I know myself well enough to know there is no way I could be happy without DD/TTWD as part of a relationship. 
 
Does that mean it will be exactly as it was with Matthew?  Absolutely not since he would obviously not be Matthew!  Just as my relationship with Matthew was not like the one (when it was good) with my ex.  Would it be strictly DD or maybe TTWD or maybe M/s or maybe Dom/Sub or maybe a combination of all of them.  Who knows!  
 
March is not over so if anyone has questions, feel free to ask.  Oh and BTW, if ya have questions after the month ends, ya don’t have to wait for next March to ask!    Winking smile 














16 comments:

  1. Thank-you for sharing. What is it about (D/D, TTWD or whatever you wish to name it) that is special for you? Have you painted anything recently and what did you paint and what materials did you use? :-) Hugs

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    1. Hey Terps...I think what is most special about TTWD is the communication and closeness that engenders. IMHO, for TTWD to be successful, you really have to SEE and HEAR one another and put the other person first. Does that make sense?

      Oh yes, I have finished several paintings recently...2 for friends, a 9 piece set for my youngest granddaughter and then my oopsie. My oopsie came about because I had mixed some paint that came out beautifully but was not a color that would blend well with the painting that I had intended. So I put it on another canvas I already had blocked out. After I finished the others, I finished the oopsie. All of them are acrylic on canvas with a raised design in joint compound.

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

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  2. Hi Cat, I hope so much that you do find another man to enter into another relationship with. I wish you great happiness
    love Jan.xx

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    1. Thank you so much Jan...I'm really not looking but wouldn't it be lovely. *sigh*

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

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  3. Thanks for sharing Cat. What do you think is the most difficult part of beginning a DD/TTWD relationship?

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    1. LOL Minelle...The most difficult part of TTWD is the most difficult part always...honest communication. And in order to have honest communication, you have to be honest with yourself! ;)

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

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  4. The past does shape our future, and when we learn from it in a very good way. I hope that you do find that special partner, you have so much to offer. Thanks for sharing.
    hugs abby

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    1. Thank you for such a sweet wish Abby...as I told Jan, I'm not looking but wouldn't turn it down. ;)

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

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  5. Hi Cat, thank you so much for sharing this. I also wish you much happiness and hope you do find another to enter into another relationship with.

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. Thank you so much sweet Roz! ;)

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

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  6. Thank you Cat for answering my question. I find it interesting that you would only have a relationship if it involved some form of TTWD. We have a lot of ups and downs since we started but I can't imagine not having some sort of DD in our life. For me the physical side is not so important than the communication. We've learnt to deal with a lot of our disagreements differently than how we used to and yes the physical part helps us move past things a lot faster than we used to.

    I wish you all the happiness in the world and that the right person will walk in to your life, you deserve it :)

    Hugs x

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    1. Thank you for the lovely wish and great question Missy. Yes, I agree...communication is THE most important part of TTWD!

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

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  7. I'm so glad I don't have to wait until next March for you to answer a questions, just in case one pops up. Have a great day.

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    1. LOL Sunny...ask anytime you nut! ;)

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

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  8. Hi Cat, :) I enjoyed reading your answer here. I think that it is great that you know what you want in your next relationship. That is important. :) I wish you well moving forward. Many hugs,

    <3 Katie T

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    1. Thank you Katie T! I am not looking for another relationship but wasn't looking when Matthew and I met either so who knows! ;)

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

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