Interesting article…I do believe there has been much discussion here in blogland regarding these points. They do itemized the points nicely.
3 Reasons the Modern Relationship Continues to Fail
How many of us out there have had parents who split up when they were young? Maybe your parents are currently in the process of getting a divorce or splitting up. Hopefully, you’re part of the lucky group of people whose parents have managed to stay together, but even if you are, I guarantee you at least know someone whose parents are no longer together.
The divorce rate in North America has been pretty steady for sometime, with about 50% of marriages ending in divorce. That’s half of all marriages. Half!
As humans, we’re always growing. When we have a partner, ideally we grow together with them, but oftentimes we simply grow apart. Sometimes people split for shallow reasons like money or status, but at the heart of most divisions are deeply-rooted problems people don’t fully become aware of until the relationship has ended. And by then, it’s too late.
Here are three solid reasons that so many relationships fail in a modern landscape, so that you might keep you and your partner happily together:
Failing to communicate or express how you’re truly feeling inside
Communication is such a big part of relationships that it’s often the reason so many of them fall apart unexpectedly. It is the single biggest part of a relationship simply because we’re not capable of reading each other’s minds. We can only act on the information we have, so when our partners do not communicate how they’re feeling or what they’re thinking, we’re left trying to figure out just what the hell is wrong, and oftentimes we’re wrong in our assumptions.
When we actively choose not to communicate with our partners when we’re feeling slighted or upset with their behaviors, we build up resentment for them that we may or may not notice at first. This resentment accumulates over time until we reach the point of not even wanting to be around that person. Then, once you split up, a wave of relief rushes over you because that burden of resentment has been lifted.
Chances are, if you had just said what you were feeling in the first place, you wouldn’t be in this situation now. Tell your partner when you’re not happy with them so that you can work together to fix whatever is wrong. If you cannot fix it, then it might be best to simply move on without each other.
Being in love with an idea, not a person
For most people, the idea of being in love tends to be more exciting and alluring than the actuality of being in love. They seek out love because they think they need it in their life to be happy. So, they often choose to accept weak forms of love that aren’t truly rooted in love. These are people who hold onto dysfunctional partners or toxic people simply because the idea of not being loved is too scary to fathom.
Hearing someone else say that they love you is heartwarming and intoxicating. We start to seek out that feeling all the time. But, this becomes dangerous when we begin to live for that feeling instead of actually taking the next step of developing a meaningful, soulful connection with a person. True love is not simply saying “I love you.” It’s showing that person how much you love them and how you will always be there for them no matter what.
Not trusting your partner
Trust is something that every relationship needs in order to thrive. When partners do not trust each other, they constantly worry and fear that the other will hurt them in some way. These worries create an anxious atmosphere in the mind that corrupts each and every thought you have, to the point of you making up the most ridiculous, far-fetched scenarios of them hurting you. Not to mention, your partner suffers because they’re constantly having to defend their actions and prove that they are worthy of your trust.
What does a lack of trust signify to your partner? That you’re incredibly insecure. And that’s okay! Everyone is insecure about something or another. You can turn your insecurities into growth and healing by being open with your partner about them. On the other side, it’s important to be able to recognize when your partner is feeling insecure, too. Maybe they’re not feeling loved by you or are still holding onto damages from a previous relationship, in which case you can offer to help them work through it so that both of you benefit in the end.
Lack of trust is a sign that they don’t feel as though they would be able to handle the end of your relationship should it come to that. The emotional weight would literally crush them, and that’s terrifying. To fix this, communicating these feelings and emotions is vital. But even more important is understanding that your relationship will only flourish if you can be confident in your vulnerability and transparency.