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Thursday, May 26, 2016

Irish Catholic Confession

‘Father’, he confessed, ‘it has been one month since my last confession.  I had sex with Nookie Green twice last month.’

The priest told the sinner, ‘You are forgiven.  Go out and say three Hail Mary's.’

 
Soon thereafter, another Irish man entered the confessional. ‘Father, it has been two months since my last confession.  I've had sex with Nookie Green twice a week for the past two months.’

This time, the priest questioned, ‘Who is this Nookie Green?’

‘A new woman in the neighborhood,’ the sinner replied.

‘Very well,’ sighed the priest.  ‘Go and say ten Hail Mary's.’


 
At mass the next morning, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall, voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary. 
 
The eyes of every man in the church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. 
 
Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching, shiny emerald-green shoes.

 
The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart, but just enough to reveal that she wasn't wearing any underwear.
 
The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered, ‘Is that Nookie Green?’
 
The bug-eyed altar boy couldn't believe his ears but managed to calmly reply…


‘No Father, I think it's just a reflection from her shoes.’   Open-mouthed smile

14 comments:

  1. Oh my! So funny. Thank you for the giggle Cat. Hope you have a great weekend :)

    Hugs
    Roz

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    Replies
    1. You're welcome, Roz...happy you enjoyed it. Having a quiet weekend here...hope you have a great one.

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

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  2. Lol, Cat.. Hope you have a nice weekend
    love Jan, xx

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    Replies
    1. Happy you enjoyed it, Jan...wishing you a nice weekend also.

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

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  3. Had never heard this one...but worth a big chuckle..
    hugs abby

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    Replies
    1. Happy to give you a big chuckle, Abby. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  4. This is a new one for me, Cat, and oh so funny!

    Thanks and Hugs From Ella

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    Replies
    1. Happy I found a new one for you to enjoy, Ella. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  5. Replies
    1. Happy you enjoyed it, Lindy. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

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  6. Replies
    1. I so agree, Rosie! ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  7. LOL this was new for me I haven't come across it before. Good chuckle on a Sunday (cos i'm only reading it now!)

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    Replies
    1. Happy to find a new one for you to enjoy, Fondles...very fitting for a Sunday read. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

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