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Monday, May 2, 2016

29 Lines To Make You Smile

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

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6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

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9. I'm not a complete idiot…Some parts are just missing.

10. Out of my mind.  Back in five minutes.

11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

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16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!

17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

18. Procrastinate Now!

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19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

22. Stupidity is not a handicap.  Park elsewhere!

23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

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25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

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26. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

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28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

29. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.


Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!
Life is too short and friends are too few!
Have a Great Day!

18 comments:

  1. Love these! lol Thanks for sharing Cat! ;)

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    Replies
    1. You're welcome, Lilli...happy you enjoyed them. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

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  2. The 29 were good, but the pics were even better. Thanks Cat.

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    Replies
    1. You're welcome, Sunny...happy you enjoyed the lines and the pics. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. Happy you enjoyed them, Mere. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  4. Hi Cat, very good and oh so true!
    love Jan, xx

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    Replies
    1. Happy you enjoyed them, Jan. Hope you are feeling better and healing well.

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  5. Wonderful Cat, loved them all thank you.

    Hugs Lindy

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    Replies
    1. You're welcome, Lindy...so happy you loved them. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  6. LoL Cat, love them all and the pics are priceless. Thank you for sharing and for the giggle :)

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're very welcome, Roz....so happy you loved all the lines and the pics. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  7. These were a great way to start my day...thanks!
    hugs abby

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    Replies
    1. Happy to help you start off the day on a positive note, Abby. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  8. thanks for the smiles :-) Hugs

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    Replies
    1. You're very welcome, Terps. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

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  9. Plenty of giggles and grins there, Cat. Love the pics too.
    Rosie xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy you enjoyed all the giggles and pics, Rosie. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete

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