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Wednesday, May 4, 2016

7 Degrees of Blondness

FIRST DEGREE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.

The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said 'How
should I know, that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up.

The husband said, 'Who was that?'

The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is
clear.'


SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street.

One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up.

She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.'

The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!' So, the first blonde hands her the compact.

The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'


THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun.

She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.

Well, the blonde is really angry.

She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'

The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'


FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.

She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me...I know 'em all.'

A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?'

The blonde replies,'Oh, that's easy .. it's W.'


FIFTH DEGREE
Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?

A: 'How can I be sure it's mine?'


SIXTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US government class.

The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.

Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware.'


SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized.

She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.

The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.

Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen.

I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!'


And finally....
Two blondes were sipping their Starbucks when a truck went past loaded up with rolls of sod.

"I'm going to do that when I win the lottery," announced #1 Blonde.

"Do what?" asked #2 Blonde.

"Send my lawn out to be mowed."

Open-mouthed smile

16 comments:

  1. Those last two degrees.....were the best...ha ha ha...
    hugs abby

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy you enjoyed them, Abby. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  2. Hi Cat, makes me proud to be a blonde, lol
    love Jan, xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ROFL Jan...you are so funny. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  3. I have always laughed at blonde jokes. Blondes do have more fun.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL Blondie...I have heard that more than once. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  4. LoL Cat, *shakes head*. Love the blind policeman lol. Thanks for the giggle :)

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcome, Roz...the blind policeman is a good one isn't it. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  5. Oh these are fantastic Cat. Loved them all.
    Hugs Lindy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy you enjoyed them, Lindy. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  6. Blondes have more fun! Of course, Ella says that any color is better than gray. Thanks for the giggles, Cat.

    Sending Hugs,
    Ella

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL Ella...Keep hearing that blondes have more fun but will just have to take your word for it. Any color is better than gray on my head but have seen some women that look awesome with gray. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  7. I love blondes - both my husband and daughter are blondes (well at least Ray used to be - now it's a beautiful shade of silver)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We won't tell your daughter if you laughed at any of these, Sunny. ;) Oh yes, I'm sure Ray looks absolutely awesome no matter what color hair he has.

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  8. Blonde jokes are fun. My highly intelligent blonde daughter laughs at them too.
    Rosie xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your highly intelligent, blonde daughter has a great sense of humor, Rosie. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete

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