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Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Why Men are Seldom Depressed

Meredith’s Jack over at New Twist, After All These Years is at it again.  Hope you enjoy!
 
Men Are Just Happier People…
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack...
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister,  or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24in 25 minutes.
___________________________________
Men Are Just Happier People…
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.  If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
 
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators...YEP!!!
 
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
 
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
 
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
 
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
 
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
 
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
 
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
 
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
 
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man can forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

14 comments:

  1. I enjoyed this! So much of it rings true! Thanks Jack and Cat!

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    Replies
    1. You're welcome Minelle...it does ring true doesn't it. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

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  2. Loved this Jack and Cat, so much of it is true lol. Thanks for the giggle :)

    Hugs
    Roz

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    Replies
    1. You're very welcome Roz...I agree, quite a bit of it is true. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  3. Oh my goodness, it's all true!!!!! lol
    love Jan,xx

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    Replies
    1. LOL Jan...you are too funny. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  4. Thanks for another great post Jack and Cat. So funny yet true.
    Hugs Lindy

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    Replies
    1. You're welcome Lindy...quite a few are true but too funny aren't they. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  5. Haha, love this and found a lot of truth in it. Thank you for the laugh, Cat.

    hugs

    Nina

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    Replies
    1. You're welcome Nina...truth is stranger than fiction sometimes isn't it. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  6. Cat,
    We are still having tech difficulties at home so I am late to tell you how much I enjoyed this one.
    From our neighborhood Starbucks,
    Meredith

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    Replies
    1. Hope your tech difficulties are resolved soon Mere. Happy to help you smile during this frustrating time. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  7. Jack has a good sense of humour and great insight. Loved it.

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    Replies
    1. He sure does Anna...love it when he sends giggles my way. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete

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