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Monday, October 12, 2015

Never Mess With an Engineer!

Why You Should Never Mess With an Engineer.  This Is Priceless.
 
After every flight, FEDEX pilots fill out a form, known as a ‘gripe sheet’ to tell mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics fix the problem, and then document their repairs on the form.
 
Here are some actual maintenance problems submitted by the pilots (marked with a ‘P’) and the solutions recorded (marked by an ‘S’) by maintenance engineers, who by the way have a sense if humour:

Airplane

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Left inside main tyre almost replaced.
 
P: Test flight OK, auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
 
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
 
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back order.
 
P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Can’t reproduce problem on the ground.
 
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
 
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
 
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what friction locks are for.
 
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
 
P: Suspect crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.
 
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
 
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
 
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
 
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed in cockpit.
 
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
Courtesy of Viral Slot
Smile

16 comments:

  1. Loved the one where the aircraft was told to straighten up and fly right! Lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That was a good one wasn't it Minelle. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  2. P and I enjoyed these over breakfast. thank you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcome DF. So happy you and P enjoyed them. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  3. LoL Cat, these are priceless! Thank you for the giggle :)

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcome Roz...happy you enjoyed them. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  4. Replies
    1. Happy to help give you the giggles Jan. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  5. Hehe, glad he took the hammer from the midget. lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree Julia...the midgets can be dangerous with hammers! ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  6. Too funny, Cuz!! The cat in the cockpit solution cracked me up most! LOL! Many hugs,

    <3 Katie TforTrouble still... lol xox

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy you enjoyed them Katie...would love to know just how they installed that cat. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  7. Hehe, love them all. Absolutely needed today, thank you for the giggle, Cat.

    hugs

    Nina

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy to help you giggle Nina. Sending lots of prayers and positive energy your way.

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  8. I loved these...Master is an engineer...I can see Him writing some of these...
    hugs abby

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy you enjoyed them Abby. If you share them with Master, you'll have to let us know if he enjoyed them. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete

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