Number 1
If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman.
He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer 's credibility…
Q: 'Officer…did you see my client fleeing the scene? '
A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away. '
Q: 'Officer, who provided this description? '
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene. '
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers? '
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life. '
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties? '
A: 'Yes sir, we do! '
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room? '
A: 'Yes, sir, I do. '
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker? '
A: 'Yes, sir. '
Q: 'Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers? '
A: 'You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room. '
The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year 's 'Best Comeback ' line…and we think he 'll win.
Number 2
Now We Know Why He Was a General…
In an recent interview, General Norman Schwarzkopf was asked if he thought there was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harbored and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America.
His answer was classic Schwarzkopf.
The General said, "I believe that forgiving them is God 's function...OUR job is to arrange the meeting."
Number 3
Dana Perino (FOX News) describing an interview she recently had with a Navy SEAL. After discussing all the countries that he had been sent to, she asked if they had to learn several languages?
"Oh, no ma 'am, we don 't go there to talk.
Number 4
Conversation overheard on the VHF Guard (emergency) frequency 121.5 MHz while flying from Europe to Dubai.
Iranian Air Defense Site: 'Unknown aircraft you are in Iranian airspace. Identify yourself.'
Aircraft: 'This is a United States aircraft. I am in Iraqi airspace.'
Air Defense Site: 'You are in Iranian airspace. If you do not depart our airspace we will launch interceptor aircraft!'
Aircraft: 'This is a United States Marine Corps FA-18 Fighter. Send 'em up, I'll wait!'
Air Defense Site: (... total silence)
Hard to pick which one is best!
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They're all great, but I think the fourth is my favorite!
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Queenie
That is a good one isn't it Queenie. ;)
DeleteHugs and blessings...Cat
These are all great Ct but I think the first one is my favorite. Thanks, Lisa
ReplyDeleteHe got that lawyer good didn't he Lisa. ;)
DeleteHugs and blessings...Cat
I look forward each night to your blogs, they are the best. I am a lurker but I thought it was time I told you how I love to read what you blog.
ReplyDeleteI too think # 1 is my favourite.
Thanks again for your laughs, insights, thoughts, jokes - and everything
Welcome Anon...so happy you decided to delurk and say 'hi'. Hope you continue to enjoy. ;)
DeleteHugs and blessings...Cat
Love these Cat, the first two are my favourites. Thanks for the giggle. Hope you are having a wonderful weekend.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Roz
Happy you enjoyed them Roz...I really enjoyed them all so I can't pick just one or two. LOL
DeleteHugs and blessings...Cat
LoL, they are all great, though the first is my favourite. :) Thank you for the good laugh, Cat.
ReplyDeletehugs
Nina
You're welcome Nina...happy you enjoyed them. ;)
DeleteHugs and blessings...Cat
Both the first and last one get my vote...
ReplyDeletehugs abby
Those are two good ones Abby...happy you enjoyed them. ;)
DeleteHugs and blessings...Cat
You're right it's hard to pick which one is best, they're all great.
ReplyDeleteHey Sunny...good to know I'm not the only one having trouble choosing just one or even two. ;) Happy you enjoyed them.
DeleteHugs and blessings...Cat
I know which is my favorite.... Guess....
ReplyDeleteNumber 1!!
LOL Minelle...I can definitely see that one as your favorite. ;)
DeleteHugs and blessings...Cat