In a Bar

An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walk into a bar and order large mugs of beer.  Upon being served, each finds a fly in his drink.


Repulsed, the Englishman sends back his beer.


The Scotsman gently flicks the fly out of his mug and begins drinking.


The Irishman carefully lifts the fly up by its wings, holds it over his mug, and screams, "Spit it out! Spit it out!"

Anyone Can Be Cool, But Awesome Takes Practice

A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “Drinks for all on me. That is including you, bartender.”


The bartender follows the man’s order and says, “that will be $42.50 please.”


The drunk says he has no money, and the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.



 

The next night, the same drunk comes in and orders a drink for everyone in the bar including the bartender.

Again, the bartender follows the drunk’s instructions and the drunk says he has no money.  So the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.




On the third night he comes in, the drunk orders drinks for everyone except the bartender.


The bartender says, “what, no drink for me?”




“Oh, no. You get violent when you drink.”