The Birthday Surprise!

Next week is my "sister's" birthday am definitely going to send this to her!  LOL

During a birthday luncheon for me at police headquarters last week, we had Mexican food catered. I ate my share of burritos, tacos and refried beans (which I know I shouldn't, from past experience).


When I got home, my wife seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly, "Sweetie, I have a surprise for dinner tonight."  She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table.  I took a seat and just as she was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. 

She made me promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned and went to answer the call. 




The beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming unbearable, so while my wife was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go.

It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk, in front of a garbage dump!


It was AWFUL!


I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.  Then, shifting to the other leg, I ripped off three more. I just about shipped my pants.


The stink was worse than cooked cabbage and I'm pretty sure I singed a few nose hairs!



Keeping my ears carefully tuned to my wife's telephone conversation in the other room, I went on releasing dirty bombs like this for another few minutes. 


The pleasure was indescribable!


I was FREE!



Eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, so I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with my "tactical release."


My face must have been the picture of innocence, when my wife returned, apologizing for taking so long.


She asked me if I had peaked through the blindfold, and I assured her I had not.



At this point, she removed the blindfold, and thirteen dinner guests seated standing around the table, with their hands to their noses, chorused:  "Happy Birthday Tommy!"



ROFLMBO!
 


BTW, if you are looking for Es May, her blog url has changed...here she is: http://submittingtobeled.blogspot.com/