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Thursday, December 12, 2013

Five Lessons

An old woman walked up and tied her old mule to the hitching post. 
 
As she stood there brushing some of the dust from her face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. 
 
The young gunslinger looked at the old woman and laughed, "hey old woman, have you ever danced?" 
 
The old woman looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, i never did dance...Never really wanted to."
 
A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "well, you old bag, you're gonna dance now," and started shooting at the old woman's feet. 
 
The old woman prospector…not wanting to get her toe blown off…started hopping around.
 

Everybody was laughing.
 

When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.
 

The old woman turned to her pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.
 

The crowd stopped laughing immediately.
 

The young gunslinger heard the sounds, too, and he turned around very slowly.
 

The silence was almost deafening.
 

The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old woman and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.
 

The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old woman's hands, as she quietly said, "son, have you ever kissed a mule's behind?"
 

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "no ma'am...But…I've always wanted to."
 

There are five lessons here for all of us:
1 - Never be arrogant.
2 - Don’t waste ammunition.
3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
4 - Always make sure you know who has the power.
5 - Don’t mess with old women; they didn't get old by being stupid.
 
I just love a story with a happy ending, don't you?
 

12 comments:

  1. They don't get old by being stupid!!! LOVE IT!!!! Hahaha, thank you for the good laugh, Cat. LOL I have a friend that is 71 that I am very close to, and she gets jokes about her age, she jokes back, but this is one I'll have to share with her. :)

    {{{hugs}}} EsMay

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    1. Happy you enjoyed it Es May! Hope your friend does also. ;)

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

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  2. Hahah, I love this! Thanks so much for the laugh. That guy got what he deserved! :)

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    1. LOL Kenzie...I do agree with you. You're very welcome...happy you enjoyed it. ;)

      Blessings...
      Cat

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  3. Hi Cat, she should have just shot him! oops did I say that out loud, must be the xmas spirit in me! lol
    love Jan. xx

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    1. LOL Jan...had a bit too much Christmas spirit did ya? Making him kiss the ass's ass in front of all those people was even better than shooting him! Shot him in the ego! :-D

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

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  4. The lesson of the day is one most southern boys already know. Don't mess with old ladies. She can make you feel two inches high without ever raising her voice. She can make an insult sound like a compliment and you will thank her for it.

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    1. LOL Rose...You are definitely right. My youngest tells people...if mom has a small, little smile on her face and starts speaking to you very quietly and very distinctly...run! Trained that boy right. ;)

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

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  5. Oh my that was a good one! So funny! I like to retell these jokes you post to my mom. I told her one today but before I told her she first asked, "Is it going to be ornery?" I said, "No not this time." She sighed and said, "Oh good." She is so funny that way!

    love
    sara :)

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    1. LOL Sara...You mom sounds very funny. Hope she enjoyed the joke! ;)

      Hugs and Blessings...
      Cat

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  6. hahaha! Reminds me of my grammy! Thanks Cat!

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    1. You're very welcome Anon! I take it your grammy was a character. ;)

      Blessings...
      Cat

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