The pharmacist goes up to his assistant and asks: "What's the matter with that guy? Wasn't he in here earlier?"
Assistant replies: "Yes he was. He had the most terrible cough and none of my prescriptions seemed to help."
Pharmacist says: "He seems to be fine now."
Assistant replies: "Sure, he does. I gave him a box of the strongest laxatives on the market. Now he won't dare cough!"
There was the woman who approached the local pharmacist and asked for cyanide.
"What on earth would you want to do with cyanide?" he asked.
"I want to poison my husband" she said coolly.
Of course the pharmacist was quite upset about this and made it quite clear to her that he was not going to be part of such a plot, and that he had no intention of selling any poison to her for that purpose.
The woman then took a photograph out of her bag. It showed the pharmacist's wife in bed with the woman's husband.
“Oh! You didn’t tell me you had a prescription!”
A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don't sell bottom deodorant, and never have.
Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more.
"I'm sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."
"But I always get it here," says the blonde.
"Do you have the container it comes in?"
"Yes!" said the blonde, "I will go get it.
"She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."
The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container, "To apply, push up bottom."