Naughty Mother Nature

For my naughtier friends…

Some of you have seen a few of these…hope you get another giggle or two from them.   

Proud Fathers

Four guys were sitting around having drinks when one of the men went to use the restroom.
 
The three others talked about their kids.
 
The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy he started working at a company at the bottom. He studied business and began to climb the corporate ladder, became president of the company. He's so rich he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for Christmas.”
 
The second guy said, "Damn, that's terrific! my son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, went to flight school to become a pilot. He became a partner where he owns the majority of its assets. He is so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet as a Christmas gift!”
 
The third man said. "Well that's terrific! my son studied in the best universities and became an engineer, started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave an expensive Christmas gift to his best friend, a 30,000 square foot mansion!”
 
The 3 guys congratulate each other just as the 4th guy returned from the restroom and asked “What are all the congratulations for?”
 
One of the three guys said, "We’re talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. What about your son?" they asked the 4th guy.
 
The fourth man replied, "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.”
 
The three friends said," That's a shame, what a disappointment.”
 
The fourth man replied. "Nah, I'm not ashamed, he's my son and i love him and he hasn't done too badly either. Just this Christmas alone he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his 3 boyfriends.”

Fascinate…

The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep.. It was fascinating.'

The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate, not fascinating'.


Sally raised her hand. She said, 'My family went to see Rock City and I was 'fascinated.'

The teacher said, 'Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'


Little Walter raised his hand.

The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Walt before.

She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word 'fascinate', so she called on him.

Little Walter said, 'My aunt has a sweater with ten buttons, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten eight.

LOL Got her again!

Important Update Re: Ami and Starman…

To all my fellow bloggers…

As many of you know, Ami and her Starman of Ami's Star Song were to receive the results of his biopsy (you can read her post here). 

Unfortunately, it is was not the news we were all hoping/praying for…Starman does have prostate cancer...the good news is that it is in the early stages.

As you can imagine, Ami is worried and emotionally exhausted while Starman is being all HoH’y.  When she is feeling up to it, Ami will be back writing.

I am reaching out to this wonderful community of ours and asking, no matter what your faith, beliefs, or religion, PLEASE send prayers, healing energy, positive thoughts, and warm hugs to both of them.

Thank you my family and friends 

PS. I don't feel comfortable giving out Ami's email but you are welcome to leave comments below for her and Starman and I will make sure she sees them. Thanks for understanding. 

UPDATE:  Ami has left a message for everyone in the 'Comments' below.

A Positive Note…

Starting our week...

 

 

 





 
 

 

 

 
I hope one or more of these help you through your week!

A Different look at VIB Award - 2!

Thank you, Ward and June of The Dish with Ward and June for nominating ME (ok, and again,14 others) for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award

The VIB Rules:

1. Display the award logo on your blog
2. Link back to the person who nominated you
3. State 7 things about yourself
4. Nominate 15 other bloggers for this award and link to them
5. Notify those bloggers of the nomination and the award’s requirements

Of course, being the trouble-maker I am, I always have to change up the rules. So you can either grab the logo and rules, consider yourself nominated and post on your blog or you can follow Cat’s Rules.

One note before beginning. Grace from Enjoying the Journey wrote a thought-provoking post regarding Awards so I thought I’d make a few things clear:



I changed up the 'rules' when I was nominated the first time, and am not nominating anyone for several reasons...

• I’m a trouble-maker and love to ‘bend’ rules as much as I can sometimes.
• I don't want anyone to feel slighted, hurt or left out.
• I don't want anyone to feel as if they have to participate...your life might be very hectic and you don't need more pressure.
• I have always looked at these more as just a fun way for everyone to learn more about each other but some might not be comfortable in sharing more than you already do on your blog.
• Some of you might not have a blog but would still like to play along.

Cat’s Rules

1. Choose which of the following best describes you and why...post your answer in the comments.

Or

1. Choose which of the following you like best and post your answer in the comments.

If you read my first VIP Award post, you will notice I changed up my own rules. LOL

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
Your choice, VIB Rules, Cat’s Rules, or both?  

Talking

Talking to Yourself Actually Makes You Smarter.

Courtesy of

https://www.facebook.com/UNBfact

 
I must be freakin' brilliant!  ROFLMBO

 

Short Story

A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few words as possible.

The instructions were: The short story had to contain the following three things:

• Religion
• Sexuality
• Mystery

Below is the only A+ short story in the entire class.

"Good God, I'm pregnant; I wonder who did it!"

ROFLMBO

No Clue…

Hope you enjoy...

Colcannon

Every family seems to have their version of Colcannon and swears it is the best.  Here is my grandpa’s version passed down through his family.  

 

Ingredients:

• 2 pounds potatoes, peeled and cubed (I use Yukon gold)
• 8 slices bacon
• ½ to 1 Tbsp. olive oil
• 1 chopped leek
• 1 medium onion, chopped  
• 2 cloves minced garlic
• 2 cups shredded green cabbage
• 1/3 cup butter
• 1/4 cup hot milk
• 1/8 tsp. black pepper
• Salt to taste – remember bacon is salty

 

 Preparation:

1. Place potatoes in saucepan, cover with cold water, place on high heat and bring to a boil.
2. Reduce heat, cover, and simmer for 15-20 minutes until potatoes are fork tender but not mushy.
3. While potatoes are cooking, fry bacon until crispy.
4. Drain bacon on paper towels and crumble.
5. Add olive oil to bacon drippings (begin with ½ teaspoon) add onion, garlic, and leeks and cook on medium heat until crisp tender, about 3-5 minutes.
6. Add cabbage, cover, and cook for 6-10 minutes until cabbage is tender. If necessary add remaining olive oil.
7. When potatoes are cooked, drain and return potatoes to pot; add butter, milk, salt and pepper; mash until combined.
8. Stir in bacon and cabbage mixture.
9. Serve immediately.

Notes:

• This is best served hot so if you have to hold it, place it in an oven-safe dish and keep warm in 200 degree oven. Will keep for about an hour.
• If you are using as a side dish, this should serve 6-8.
• If you are using as a main dish, this should serve 4 but I always had to double it with my boys…hollow legs, ya know. LOL
• For vegetarians, omit the bacon and increase the oil.
• Leftovers can be warmed in a skillet and browned for a different texture. 

If you have any questions, please feel free to ask and if you try the recipe, I would love any feedback you would care to give.
 
Hope you enjoy!
 

Thoughts for the Week

This was sent to me by two vanilla friends, one who claims I always get her into trouble, and the other just typed ROFLMAO.  

Then...a friend from blog land sent a similar one with the same saying...

Think everyone is trying to send me a message?

Enjoy your week!

Truck for Sale

 

Meanest Mom ROFL

 

The Amazing Scotsman

A salesman drove into a small town in the Highlands where a circus was in progress. A sign read: 'Don't miss ROBERT, The Amazing Scotsman'.

The salesman bought a ticket and sat down.

There on an illuminated center stage, was a table with three walnuts on it. Standing next to it was an old Scotsman.

Suddenly the old man lifted his kilt, whipped out a huge willie and smashed all three walnuts with three mighty swings.

The crowd erupted in applause as the elderly Scot was carried off on the shoulders of the crowd.


Ten years later the salesman visited the same little town and saw a faded sign for the same circus and the same sign 'Don't miss ROBERT The Amazing Scotsman'.

He couldn't believe the old man was still alive, much less still doing that particular act.

He bought a ticket.

Again, the center ring was illuminated.

This time, however, instead of walnuts, three coconuts were placed on the table.

The Scotsman stood before them, then suddenly lifted his kilt and shattered the coconuts with three swings of his impressive appendage.

The crowd went wild.

Flabbergasted, the salesman requested a meeting with him after the show.

'You're incredible!' he told the Scotsman. 'But I have to know something. You're older now, why switch from walnuts to coconuts?'

'Well laddie,' said Robert, 'Ma eyes are no' whit they used tae be.'
 

Hmmm…fact or fiction? LOL

The Loan

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer.
She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and Needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz.

The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blond for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.

What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my Car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

Finally... a smart blonde joke.

Pay the Lady…

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her.

One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."

"Oh, really?  Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them.  Thanks for telling me officer.”

"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop.  “Where did you get all that money?  You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no, no", said the old lady.

"You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course.  A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden!  It used to really tick me off.  Kills the flowers, you know. 

Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?

So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers.

Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'OK, buddy! Give me $20, or I cut it off.' “

"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK.  Good luck!  Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

The old lady said  "Well, Not everybody pays…”



ROFLMBO

Reminders