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Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Puns for Educated Minds

1.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was
Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2.
I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island,
but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3.
She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved her still.

4.
A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5.
No matter how much you push the envelope,
it'll still be stationery.

6.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road
and was cited for littering.

7.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would
result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8.
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9.
A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall.
The police are looking into it.

10.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12.
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

13.
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14.
A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:
'Keep off the Grass.'

15.
The midget fortune-teller who escaped from
prison was a small medium at large.

16.
The soldier who survived mustard gas and
pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran..

17.
A backward poet writes inverse.

18..
In a democracy it's your vote that counts.
In feudalism it's your count that votes.

19.
When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20.
If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you'd be in Seine .

21.
A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane. The stewardess looks at him and says,
'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

22.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'

23.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again
that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

24.
Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says, 'Are you sure?'
The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

25.
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain
during a root-canal? His goal: transcend dental medication

26.
There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

16 comments:

  1. Lol, I loved all of these!
    --Baker

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy you enjoyed these, Baker.

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. Thank you, Kyrel and welcome. Happy you enjoyed these.

      Blessings...Cat

      Delete
  3. I smiled and grinned and nodded my head at all of these....love them! Thanks...hugs abby

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcome welcome, Abby...so happy you enjoyed them. :)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  4. *Blog Temporarily Renamed: gigglesgroansandreflections*
    All very good!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha good one, Jz! Happy you enjoyed...even if you did groan. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  5. Cat. All good ones, made me smile. Thanks.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcome, Ronnie...happy to give you a smile.

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  6. I love plays on words - this was great. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I knew you would love these, Sunny...I can actually see you being the author of them. :)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  7. Puns always make me groan. Perhaps it is because I am not clever enough to think of one.

    Hugs From Ella

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did you see Jz's comment above, Ella? She renamed the blog. Happy you enjoyed the 'groans'. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  8. Replies
    1. Happy you enjoy them, Fondles. :)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete

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