Adult Content Warning

You have entered a site intended for ADULTS ONLY. If you are under the age of 18, or if it is illegal to view such material in your community, please exit this site immediately. This site contains mature content including but not limited to; articles, discussions, pictures and other materials that some people may find offensive. If such materials offend you, please exit this site immediately.

Thursday, December 28, 2017

Last Trip to Costco

Yesterday I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Necco, The Wonder Dog, which weighs 191 lbs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant?

So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I should mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends... it will be their laugh for the day.

12 comments:

  1. LoL Cat, love it! Thanks for the giggle :)

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're very welcome, Roz...happy you enjoyed the giggle. :)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. Happy you enjoyed it, Jan. :)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  3. Hi Cat, that is so funny.
    Hugs Lindy xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy you thought so, Lindy. :)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  4. Cat, That's a good one, funny, Thanks.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcome, Ronnie...have no clue as to why but somehow this comment ended up in 'Awaiting moderation" and I don't check that folder very often.

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  5. Great timing on this post, Cat. 'Tis the season for folks to start diets. All that yummy holiday food.

    Hugs From Ella

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha Ella...think this is one diet I won't be going on. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  6. That was priceless Cat. Hope you don’t mind if I use that story. I’ve been asked that same dumb question several times at Costco.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy you enjoyed it, Hands...feel free to use it. I've made up similar answers when I've been asked dumb questions. Please let us know how it turns out. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete

Thanks for stopping by. Respectful comments are always welcome.