Epitaphs

Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:  Born 1903--Died 1942.

Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. 

It was.

=============================

In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:

Here lies an Atheist, 

All dressed up and no place to go.

=============================

On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:

Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102.  

Only the good die young.

=============================

In a London, England cemetery:

Here lies Ann Mann, who lived an old maid 

But died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767

=============================

In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:

Anna Wallace

The children of Israel wanted bread, 

And the Lord sent them manna. 

Clark Wallace wanted a wife, 

And the Devil sent him Anna.

============================== =

In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:

Here lies Johnny Yeast.  

Pardon him for not rising.

============================== =

In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake, 

Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.

==============================

In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:

Here lays The Kid, 

We planted him raw.  

He was quick on the trigger, 

But slow on the draw.

==============================

A lawyer's epitaph in England:

Sir John Strange.

Here lies an honest lawyer, and that is Strange.

==============================

John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:

Reader, if cash thou art in want of any, 

Dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.

=============================

In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:

On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune.

==============================

Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont:

Here lies the body of our Anna, Done to death by a banana.  

It wasn't the fruit that laid her low, 

But the skin of the thing that made her go.

==============================

On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:

Under the sod and under the trees, 

Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.  

He is not here, there's only the pod, 

Pease shelled out and went to God.

==============================

THIS ONE IS EXTREMELY WELL WRITTEN:-

In a cemetery in England:

Remember man, as you walk by, 

As you are now, so once was I.  

As I am now, so shall you be, 

Remember this and follow me.

To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:

To follow you I'll not consent, 

Until I know which way you went.

=============================================

And the final one...

On a tombstone in Boothill Cemetery, Tombstone, Arizona:

Here lies Lester Moore, 

Four slugs from a 44, 

No Les, 

No more.