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Saturday, January 30, 2016

Best Obituary Ever

The Best Obituary Ever Written In a Newspaper. This Is Genius.
 
An obituary printed in the New York Times:
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- And maybe it was my fault.


Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
 
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
 
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
 
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
 
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
 
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death,
- by his parents, Truth and Trust,
- by his wife, Discretion,
- by his daughter, Responsibility,
- and by his son, Reason.
 
He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;
- I Know My Rights
- I Want It Now
- Someone Else Is To Blame
- I'm A Victim
- Pay me for Doing Nothing
 
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
 
If you still remember him, pass this on.  If not, join the majority and do nothing.
 
Courtesy of  tickld

20 comments:

  1. Absolutely! Common sense is missed by many.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I so agree, Rose!

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  2. This is priceless! RIP common sense, sadly missed more and more now days. Thanks for sharing Cat. Hope you are having a wonderful weekend :)

    Hugs
    Roz

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    Replies
    1. Happy you enjoyed it, Roz...I hope Common Sense does not RIP but makes a return...getting really scary out there!

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  3. The loss of Common Sense is a great one! :(
    love Jan,xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It sure is, Jan!

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  4. Hi Cat, oh yes, common sense is missed so much sometimes. I have seen the stepbrothers and they are not nice.
    Wishing you a wonderful weekend.

    hugs

    Nina

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree with you 100%, Nina...hope the stepbrothers go away and Common Sense returns...SOON!

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  5. Hi Cat RIP common Sense we all miss you. thanks for sharing.
    Hugs Lindy

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    Replies
    1. Common Sense is definitely missed, Lindy...hope it returns in the near future.

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  6. Things have taken a turn for- strange!

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    Replies
    1. That they have, Minelle...That they have. :(

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  7. Common sense, one can only hope for a resurrection...would make most of us happier and our lives easier...
    hugs abby

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    Replies
    1. I do agree, Abby...I pray every day for Common Sense to be resurrected.

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  8. It's the truth - life is strange.

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    Replies
    1. That it is, Sunny...just praying it doesn't get any stranger!

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  9. This one speaks to me, Cat. Here's one of my own.

    In this day of free birth control, why is someone awarded more money for having another child they cannot support?

    Ella

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ooh...that's a good one Ella! Have often wondered that one myself.

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  10. Hi Cat! I've been a lurker of many of your comments but finally spent some time on your site. Sadly, Mr. and Mrs. Common Sense are missed daily. Amy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy to have you visit Amy...the Common Sense family is greatly missed...hoping they return soon!

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete

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