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Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Unfaithful

A very interesting article…not sure I fully agree with every point but think it’s very much worth reading.



10 ways you are being unfaithful to your spouse — and you don't even know it
Being alert to ways spouses can be unfaithful to their mates is vital. These 10 behaviors can lead to the ultimate unfaithfulness. Learn them and be on guard.

Having an affair is not even on your radar. Never gonna happen. You love your spouse and you'd never be unfaithful to her or him. However, you may be unaware of other ways you are being unfaithful. If these actions continue, you may find yourself on the slippery slope that leads to that never-intended affair and a sorrow you never wanted in your life.

Unfaithfulness usually creeps in through the back door, disguising itself as harmless fun or innocent behavior. If you want your marriage to endure and be filled with happiness you may need to check this list to see if you have fallen prey to any of these unfaithful behaviors.

 
1. Flirting
Having a little playful fun at the office with a co-worker can't be too bad, you may rationalize. After all, flirting is fun. Avoid it like the plague. It's dangerous. If someone flirts with you, ignore it. What falls into the category of flirting? Here's one explanation of what flirting is. "[It] usually involves speaking and behaving in a way that suggests a mildly greater intimacy than the actual relationship between the parties would justify, though within the rules of social etiquette, which generally disapproves of a direct expression of sexual interest. This may be accomplished by communicating a sense of playfulness or irony... Body language can include flicking the hair, eye contact, brief touching, etc."

Married people should never engage in this type of behavior with anyone other than their spouse. It is a full-on form of unfaithfulness that leads to no good. The one you're flirting with may take it as an invitation and pursue a relationship you never intended.

 
2. Confiding in the opposite gender
When you pour out your troubles to someone of the opposite gender you are putting yourself in a vulnerable position. It may seem harmless. After all, you just needed a shoulder to cry on. If you've got a problem, talk about it with your spouse. That's your best-ever shoulder to cry on. If that's not working for you, try a trusted relative, clergyman, or therapist. Not someone who may consider this an invitation for intimacy. Even if it doesn't start that way, too often it ends that way. It's a form of unfaithfulness.

 
3. Spending time alone with someone else
What appears to be an innocent lunch out with someone of the opposite sex or stopping by for a chat at that someone's home without your spouse is definitely in the category of unfaithful behavior. You or the other person may say, "Hey, we're both adults. Nothing's going to happen." Well, things do happen. It's not appropriate. Go home and spend that time with your spouse.

 
4. Talking negatively about your mate
When you are a true friend to someone you never say bad things about them to others. Your mate is your best friend and is the last person you should ever talk about negatively. If you have a beef with your honey, talk it out with him or her. Let your conversations with others focus on the good things about your spouse. That's being faithful. The exception here is abuse. If abuse is happening it needs to be reported to a trusted friend, counselor, and the police. You must keep yourself safe.

 
5. Chatting on the Internet with someone of the opposite sex
If you think this is harmless, think again. It may start out that way, but it definitely won't end that way. Some have engaged in what they considered innocent talk with a former boyfriend or girlfriend from high school or college days, or even a stranger. One thing can lead to another and before you know it, your marriage is in jeopardy. Don't do it. It will only end in sorrow and heartbreak for your family.

 
6. Dressing to attract the attention of someone other than your spouse
If you're dressing up to look good for someone else, you need to reexamine your motives. Trying to attract someone else by wearing a sexy looking outfit is one more way to jump into unfaithful waters.

 
7. Writing personal intimate notes or letters to someone else
If you're writing a letter of condolence or congratulations, or other good wishes, let it be from both you and your spouse. Then there will be no misunderstanding about your intentions.

 
8. Not being a willing sexual partner with your spouse
Being faithful to your spouse means giving yourself over to him or her to enjoy the intimate side of your marriage. To withhold sexual intimacy from your spouse if not doing your part in keeping your marriage strong and fulfilling. It creates sorrow and even suspicion. Being a faithful spouse means doing your part to make it a beautiful relationship in all aspects.

 
9. Putting your parents before your spouse
Your spouse must always be the number one person in your life. If something wonderful happens to you, like a promotion, a confirmation of a pregnancy, or any other good news, you may be tempted to immediately call a parent to share in the joy. Resist. Let your spouse be the first to know your good news. Then share it with others.

 
10. Putting your children before your spouse
Kids matter. They are very important people in your life, but not more important than your spouse. If you knock your spouse off the top of your priority list you are not showing total fidelity to him or her. Your mate must come first. Not only does it cement your marriage and make it stronger, it gives your children the best security blanket they will ever have.

Check yourself on these points and make sure you are being 100 percent faithful to your spouse. By doing this you will create a genuinely happy and fulfilling marriage.
 
Courtesy of familyshare
 
Thoughts? Agree? Disagree? Additions? Subtractions?

18 comments:

  1. Cat,
    Very interesting points. Not sure I agree with everything either. I think the ones on parents and children taking priority over your marriage are very intriguing. Hoss and I have had discussions about such things, so I know I struggle with this as well. I have heard that the stronger marriage children see, the more secure they feel. I'm looking forward to hearing which ones you do not necessarily agree with and others take on this post.
    --Baker

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    1. Hey Baker...life is not black and white...there are times your children or another family member have to take priority. But for the most part, I do believe your spouse should take priority.

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

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  2. My Bear and I have often discussed being friends with the opposite sex. He thinks you can't without having a special relationship with them, whereas I think you can without being involved sexually.

    One of our male neighbours asked me in one day. I made up an excuse quickly as knew Bear would be angry with me if I did, as I'm pretty sure he classes it as cheating.

    There are some good points in your post, given me something to think about. Thanks for sharing Cat.

    Hugs Lindy xx

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    1. You're welcome, Lindy. not sure I totally agree, but I do understand where Bear is going from. It's not that he doesn't trust you but that he doesn't trust the other guy.

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  3. Hi Cat, very interesting, I'm not sure how many of these I agree with.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    Replies
    1. Happy you found it interesting, Roz...I agree with all of them to a certain degree...some more than others.

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  4. I agree with some of these, but some of them do dpend on the circunstances, life is just not that cut and dry. hugs abby

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    1. Very much agree with you, Abby...life is definitely not black and white...there are many shades of grey and situations that call for different behavior.

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  5. Perpetually Single Girl here, jumping in with an unqualified opinion!
    While some of these make sense to me (#4 in particular leaps off the page at me as something needing to be all in uppercase, bold, and highlighted,) this writer almost lost all credibility with me by starting off with #1... My parents were both two of the biggest flirts you will ever meet in your life. They were also absolutely devoted to each other and rock-solidly committed to their marriage.
    So I have seen that these two things do not have to be mutually exclusive.
    As abby says, it's just not that cut and dry.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree, Jz...some people can innocently flirt...mean nothing by it with no harm no foul. However, some partners are not secure enough in themselves to be able to handle it. You also have some people that don't understand flirting and take it as a come-one which then causes a whole new set of problems. To me, flirting is one of those slippery slopes that if you're not very careful can cause issues. But again, life is not black and white so while some can handle it innocently, it can damage others. So happy your parents were well suited. :)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

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  6. I think I disagree with more of these than agree. It is just human nature to feel good if someone flirts with you. It is how you react when it happens that determines whether there is anything negative about it.

    There is also the level of trust between the couple to consider. Love will never flourish without trust.

    So Says Ella

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    1. It does make you feel good if someone flirts with you, Ella but this is about flirting back and as I've said above...some can handle it and others can't. I agree, no relationship will flourish with trust but sometimes it's a matter of insecurity rather than trust. To me, it can be a very slippery slope.

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

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  7. I think this is a little straight-laced for me. Life is filled with grey areas and so many of these are black/white.

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    1. I agree, Sunny...I look at these more as guidelines rather than rules...things to keep in mind when trying to build and/or improve a relationship.

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

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  8. I agree with all of these. Thanks for posting this reminder!

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    Replies
    1. Welcome, Seetheway. Happy you enjoyed the reminders. Hope you come visit again.

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  9. I think the ones regarding parents and children are situational. There are times when they will need more. A devoted spouse knows that and understands.

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    1. Very much agree, Minelle. To me, as long as you normally put your spouse first, then putting others first will be on an as needed basis. I take this to mean...don't make your spouse feel as if they are always much lower down on your list of priorities.

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete

Thanks for stopping by. Respectful comments are always welcome.