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Thursday, December 3, 2015

Things Patients Said to Surgeons

15 ACTUAL Things Patients Said to Surgeons Before Being Put to Sleep. These Are Gold.
 
1. I looked the surgeon squarely in the eyes, and with a straight face I whispered: "I want you inside me." 
- skeeterspete
 
2. I was being wheeled into emergency abdominal surgery once and my girlfriend was with me. We're rolling down the hall and they have the mask out to put me under and I pause and say to her "don't let them touch my d*ck".
The nurse smirked a little and they put the mask on me. In somewhat of a panicked fashion, I pulled the mask off, stared up at my girlfriend, and with full weight and seriousness told her "they can look at it, but no touching". I heard the doctor laughing as the gas kicked in.
- vilelikefire
 
3. I once tried to say something funny right before surgery, they were about to put me out and I said, "go easy on me doc, it's my first time."
I gave a little chuckle and so did the doctor... he then picked up a scalpel and said, "don't worry, it's my first time too." And then I promptly blacked out… 
- A**holeBot9000
 
4. Right before I went under to have surgery on my septum... I was about to start counting backwards before they put the mask on. I said, "Does anyone need anything while I'm out?"
- RedshirtStormtrooper
 
5. "I tend to get aroused while under anesthesia, but it's fine, just tape it down if it gets in the way."
- cognitivewreck
 
6. I had just woken up after having my shoulder worked on. I was in and out of consciousness for a bit and just generally feeling whacked out.
I guess I shifted in the bed and moved the blankets a bit and exposed myself as the nurse came in. She smiled and moved the blankets back.
I apparently told the nurse "You saw mine, do I get to see yours?
My wife was in the chair next to the bed.
- Fallen_Milkman
 
7. "If I don't make it through this, tell my wife I want her to be buried alive with me."
- captainmagictrousers
 
8. When I had my wisdom teeth removed and was given general anaesthetic, I apparently said "If this is what being on drugs is like, sign me up."
He went and told on me to my mother.
- LilMoWithTheGimpyLeg
 
9. Who's the guy with the scythe standing in the corner?
- swordofthespirit
 
10. As they were pushing the drugs they asked me to count backwards from 10. All I could say was, “no.” The room erupted in laughter and I was out.
- Joliet_Jake_Blues
 
11. "My twin owes me big time for this one."
- IWishIWasMoreClever1
 
12. Terribly inappropriate joke. Had to have a colonoscopy, so they gave me some medication and it was weird. Anyways, I was feeling silly and told him "First time doing anal on camera, and I'm not even getting paid."
- princessk8
 
13. "Thanks for doing this, there aren't many surgeons out there who would operate on someone without health insurance."
- FreakyMcDeeky
 
14. I was being put under for a wisdom tooth extraction a few years back, and it was the first time I've ever had anesthesia. They used injection method rather than gas, so they told me to watch the fluids going in so i could gauge when i'd feel sleepy. I had this idea that i would say something like "oh no, doc, i've lost my eyesight" or something else preposterous. Before i could collect my thoughts i just immediately blurted "well shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit" (my voice progressively getting lower) and passed out.
- mikaelfivel
 
15. Here's my impression of my wife during sex.
- DaySee
 
Courtesy of tickld

12 comments:

  1. Hi Cat, I work for a bunch of doctors/surgeons. They do have some interesting stories to tell. Enjoyed these, my friend.

    Hugs,
    Ella

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy you enjoyed them Ella...would love to hear some of the stories from your crew. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  2. Hi Cat, the things people say!
    love Jan,xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Got that right Jan! ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  3. Funny. Really enjoyed these Cat. Thanks.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcome Ronnie...happy you enjoyed them. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  4. Some of these were hysterical - I love the tape it down one. Still giggling.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That was a good one wasn't it Sunny. Happy you enjoyed. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  5. Replies
    1. Happy you enjoyed them Maggie. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  6. This is one of my nightmares! Somehow getting put under I'm going to blurt out something about my blog.... Etc!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL Minelle...I can see that. Years ago, they had already given me the medicine to 'relax' me and as the orderlies were wheeling me out of my room for surgery, I told them "slow down, this ain't the Indy 500!" They were maneuvering through the door. LOL

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete

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