How Do You Decide Who To Marry?

Our darling Minelle from My Breath sent this link to me and told me I needed to use it.  I’m assuming she meant post it.  

Hope you enjoy!

 

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids)

June 3, 2012 Chris Hughes

A group of young kids were asked how to decide who to marry and here are the results which are pretty amusing.
 

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

(1) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
- Alan, age 10
(2) No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
- Kristen, age 10
 
 

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

(1) Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
- Camille, age 10
(2) No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
- Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)

 

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

(1) You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
- Derrick, age 8

 

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

(1) Both don’t want any more kids.
- Lori, age 8

 

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

(1) Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
- Lynnette, age 8 (isn’t she a treasure)
(2) On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
- Martin, age 10

 

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

(1) I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-Craig, age 9
 

 

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

(1) When they’re rich.
- Pam, age 7
(2) The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.
- Curt, age 7
(3) The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.
- Howard, age 8

 

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

(1) I don’t know which is better, but I’ll tell you one thing. I’m never going to have sex with my wife. I don’t want to be all grossed out.
- Theodore, age 8
(2) It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

 

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED?

(1) There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?
- Kelvin, age 8
And the #1 Favorite is……..

 

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

(1) Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
- Ricky, age 10

http://dailynewsdig.com/how-do-you-decide-who-to-marry-written-by-kids/

The 10 Health Benefits Of Sex

Just a few more reasons why sex is good for ya...as if you really needed more reasons. LOL

Working on strengthening your relationship with that very special someone in your life can also help you look good.  YES, that’s right – an active sex life will help your skin to stay healthy. 

 
1. Sex balances hormones. Acne is a manifestation of an internal imbalance that is most often routed in a hormonal imbalance, specifically in the imbalance of sex hormones such as testosterone, estrogen and progesterone. Sex balances your hormone levels, which may help in keeping your skin clearer. 
 
2. Sex boosts immunity. Having sex twice or more a week increases levels of an antibody called immunoglobin and as a result, has a positive impact on your immune system, which may help in fighting inflammation and infection caused by acne bacteria that is likely to “camp-out” in your clogged pores. 
 
3. Sex improves circulation. Having sex improves blood circulation, which helps to deliver oxygen to your skin. In addition to giving your skin a healthy glow and keeping skin supple, it will also nourish the skin and keep it looking young. 
 
4. You’ll get a mini-facial. The more passion, the better. Passionate sexual activities can be vigorous, so they also instigate sweating. This will give your skin a mini-skin steaming facial, and your clogged pores a needed reprieve. Then take a nice long shower afterwards! 
 
5. Builds collagen. Collagen is a building block of skin. Sex boosts the natural collagen production so it may help not only in keeping wrinkles at bay but also in smoothing acne scars and marks. 
 
6. Burns calories. While it may not be as productive for weight loss as traditional cardio or strength training, you burn an average of 170 calories per hour of active sex. Didn’t get your walking in that day? Well, you made up for it! 
 
7. Keeps the carbs away. If you want to replace your love affair with cookies and ice-cream with something much healthier – sex is the way to go. Sex will replace your sweets and keep your weight in control. Sugar and carbs are bad for the skin – especially if you have acne – and there is a clear connection between the health of the digestive system and the health of the skin. So keeping away from harmful foods will help to keep your skin clear. 
 
8. Reduces stress. Life is stressful. And while there are many proven ways to reduce stress such as exercise, walking to the beach, shopping or having a glass of wine, a good romp between the sheets will do a great job too! A regular and healthy sex life keeps blood pressure and stress levels low, similar to regular physical exercise. 
 
9. You’ll sleep better. Did you ever wonder how you can actually get this “beauty sleep” everyone is recommending for healthy and young looking skin? The oxytocin released during orgasm is not only helping with bonding, but also increases endorphins and decreases pains and aches (particularly headaches) as well as helps us to fall asleep and keep sleeping. So get your beauty sleep going while going “at it”! 
 
10. Increases confidence. Since sex will also boost the production of the “happy hormone”, serotonin, and makes you feel younger, happier, and more desirable socially, these positive feelings encourage you to take better care of yourself, including adopting a healthier skincare regimen.

 by Dr. Agnes P. Olszewski

 Courtesy of   Facts that will blow your mind

A Short Life, Well Lived

When I get frustrated with the progress or lack of I am making in therapy...can't do this, can't do that...basically having a 'pity party', I then read this and can only smack myself upside the head! 

This is a story about a girl as beautiful inside as she was outside, 21 year old Katie Kirkpatrick passed away five days after her wedding in January 2005. She married her high school sweetheart, Nick Goodwin, in a beautiful church ceremony January 15, 2005, and passed away January 20, 2005.

Katie was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor on Valentine’s Day 2002 while she was freshman at Rochester College in Michigan. She continued on with her studies as long as she was able but in 2003 she was diagnosed with an inoperable lung tumor wrapped around her pulmonary artery. In 2004 she took part in Lance Armstrong’s “Ride for the Roses” cancer fundraiser, Katie was a big fan of Mr. Armstrong’s and his attitude, she stated “I like his attitude and his perseverance. I admire him for the way he dealt with his cancer and his attitude.”
 

Katie spent hours every day receiving chemotherapy while planning every detail of her wedding, her dress had to be fitted several times due to her weight loss. Her husband Nick said of the wedding and her passing “It was wonderful. It was a dream come true. She was the most beautiful angel ever – just caring and selfless, and such an inspiration to everyone. She was always smiling no matter what happened, no matter what news she got. She was as close to perfect as they come.”
 

At the wedding her joy was apparent for everyone to see, as was her pain and suffering, although she smiled through the pain. Seeing Katie so alive and so happy has inspired countless people to search for joy themselves, no matter how fleeting it may be.
 

There is a non-profit group named for Katie, called Katie’s Wings, it’s established to help those affected by cancer. In her hometown of Lapeer MI there is also a business called Katie’s Spa, that specializes in services to cancer patients.
 

No one who met Katie will forget her, her legacy of life and love lives on in the hearts of many, her life was cut short, but it was well lived and filled with joy.
 

November 24, 2012 by Staff Writer  Courtesy of positivemed.com

Texting

An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their cell phones.


The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy.
 

One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee. She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote:
 
"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams."

"If you are laughing, send me your smile."

"If you are eating, send me a bite."

"If you are drinking, send me a sip."

"If you are crying, send me your tears." 

"I love you."
 
 
 
The husband texted back to her:
 
"I'm on the toilet. Please advise."
 

Secret to a Happy Marriage

There once was a man and a woman who had been married for more than 60 years. They talked about everything.

They kept no secrets from each other except that the old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she cautioned her husband never to open it or ask her about it.

For all these years he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would never recover.


In trying to sort out their affairs the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed it was time that he should know what was in the box.

When he opened it he found 2 beautifully crocheted doilies and a stack of money totaling over $25,000. He asked her about the unusual contents.

"When we were married," she said, " my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doily."


The little old man was so moved, he had to fight back tears. Only two precious doilies were in the box. S he had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with joy and happiness.


"Sweetheart," he said... "that explains the doilies, but what about all this money? Where did it all come from?"


Oh," she said, " that's the money I made from selling the doilies."

Courtesy of  Anyone Can Be Cool, But Awesome Takes Practice

 

Seatmates

An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk?  Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

 
The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"

 
"Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly.

 

"Okay," she said.  "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first.  A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass.  Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps.  Why do you suppose that is?"


 
The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea." 



To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don't know shit?"

 

And then she went back to reading her book. 

 

Courtesy of  Facts that will blow your mind

  

ROFLMBO!

Headaches are Gone

A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years?  Well, they're gone." 
 
"No more headaches?" The husband asks, "What happened?" 
 
His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist.  He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat 'I do not have a headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache.'  It worked.  The headaches are all gone." 

 
His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years.  Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"  The husband agrees to try it.

 
Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom.  He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."  He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before. 

 
His wife says, "Damn! That was wonderful!" 

 
The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back."  He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time.  The wife sits up and her head is spinning. 

 
Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."  

With that, he goes back in the bathroom.  

This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying,
She's not my wife.
She's not my wife.
She's not my wife.


His funeral service will be held on Saturday.

Mmmm Ahhhh

Kids SAY The DARNDEST Things On Tests

For all of you teachers who are on break and missing your students. LOL

This Kid Has Creativity!

He Made Up The Answer Himself

What Is Love?

This student knows the answer

Sushi??

Indeed, The Cells Were Lonely!

Yes, C We Meet Again.

This Student Is Going To Grow Up To Be A Bully.

Class Can Feel Like Eternity

Haha Even The Teacher Loves This

People Love Their Seahorses

 

What Do You Do With Money?

Make it rain!

I Wish Every Teacher Was Like This

http://awesometakespractice.lolspotsarticles.com/1389596-kids-say-the-darndest-things-on-test

Pet Fish

A hillbilly was stopped by a game warden in Missouri recently with two ice chests of fish.  He was leaving a cove well known for its fishing.


The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"

"Naw, sir, I ain't got none of them there licenses, no.  You must understand, these here are my pet fish."

"Pet fish?" asked the game warden.

"Yeah. Every night I take these here fish down to da lake and let them swim 'round for a while. Then I whistle and they jump rat back into this here ice chest and I take them home."

"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!" says the warden.


 
The hillbilly looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, "It's the truth, Mr. Government man, I'll show you. It really works."

"Okay," said the game warden, "I've GOT to see this!"



The hillbilly poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited.


After several minutes, the game warden turned to him and said, "Well?"


"Well, what?" asked the hillbilly.


The warden said, "When are you going to call them back?"


The hillbilly said, "Call who back?"


"The FISH!" replied the warden.


"What fish?" asked the hillbilly.


In Missouri, we may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we ain't as dumb as folks think...

*snicker*

Childbirth: Questions & Answers

This has been around for ages but I enjoyed seeing it again so thought I would share.   If you are a mother, you may identify with some or all of these…depending on the age of your child. 

If you do not have children, and intend to have them, you may want to skip this post and come back another day…

Go ahead…I’ll wait…

…

…

…

Ok, if you are still here…

Q. Should I have a baby after 35?
A. No, 35 children is enough.

Q. When will my baby move?
A. With any luck, right after finishing high school.

Q. How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A. If it’s the flu, you’ll get better.

Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q. What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex?
A. Childbirth.

Q. My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational.A. So what’s your question?

Q. How long is the average woman in labor?
A. Whatever she says, divided by two. This answer was definitely written by a man!
 
Q. My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A. Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current. This instructor has never given birth or has a very bad memory!
 
Q. When is the best time to get an epidural?
A. Right after you find out you’re pregnant.

Q. Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A. Not unless the word “alimony" means anything to you.

Q. Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A. Yes, pregnancy.

Q. Does pregnancy cause hemorrhoids?
A. Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for. Go for it!
 
Q. Where is the best place to store breast milk?
A. In your breasts.

Q. What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth?
A. It means that the baby’s mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse.

Q. How does one sanitize nipples?
A. Bathe daily and wear a clean bra. It beats boiling them in a saucepan.

Q. Our baby was born last week. When will my wife act normal again?
A. When your child is in college.

Courtesy of Anyone Can Be Cool, But Awesome Takes Practice

Hope this gave you a bit of a giggle.

Today

Random Laws

Totally Random and Obscure Laws that Actually Exist
12 of the weirdest and most useless laws in America! #1 is insane!
 

#12 No margarine

In the state of Wisconsin, it's illegal to serve butter substitutes in state prisons. It's actually healthier to have butter anyway, so our guess is the state legislators are watching out for their inmates?

 

#11 DUI down

If you desperately must have personalized license plates, then don't get slapped with a DUI in New Jersey… or just don't drink and drive OR live in the state of New Jersey. The law there states that once you have been convicted of drunk driving, you may never again have personalized plates!

 

#10 Take down the trimmings

Unfortunately, Maine as a state does not tolerate Christmas lights and wreaths past January 14th. It is illegal in Maine to have your Christmas decorations up past that date!

 

#9 Bingo time

In North Carolina, grandma isn't allowed to play bingo for more than five hours. No marathon in this state!

 

#8 Watch out!

We're not sure what kind of murderer would have the foresight to wear a bulletproof vest while committing his or her crime, but in the state of New Jersey, it's actually illegal to wear one when committing murder!

 

#7 Party of…

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Maybe that's because you're not allowed to buy drinks for more than three people at a time. Yes, it's true -- that's an actual Nevada law!

 

#6 Three little bears

In Alaska, hunting is a regular thing. Shooting bears is a regular thing. And it's totally ok for you to wake a bear up by shooting it (if you sorta miss). However, it's illegal in Alaska to wake a sleeping bear merely to take a picture of or with it!

 

#5 No German fare

Beer and pretzels… that sure sounds like our kind of sports bar game night appetizer! Too bad we'll never visit North Dakota for this reason. It's illegal there for a restaurant to serve both pretzels and beer at the same time!

 

#4 Arcade age

Do you think there's too much violence in video games for kids under the age of 18? Are you concerned that arcades are a bad influence? Well, there's a place for you -- South Carolina deems it illegal for anyone under the age of 18 to play a pinball machine.

 

#3 No bear hug

In the state of Missouri, it is illegal to drive with an uncaged bear. We're assuming that this means it's ok to transport bears from zoo to zoo as long as they're in cages, but there's no random cab hopping for your friendly backyard guest!

 

#2 Heavy hearts

In the state of Idaho, it's illegal for a man to give his love a box of candy weighing more than 50 pounds. So we guess there's no chance our lover in Idaho's gonna be sending us that fantasy jumbo Toblerone gift basket.

 

#1 Drunk fish

In the state of Ohio, it's illegal to get a fish drunk. We're not sure why you would want to in the first place, but there it is!

Courtesy of Randomly Funny $tuff

Look at the Trees

A 24 year old boy seeing out from the train's window shouted..."Dad, look the trees are going behind!"


His dad smiled and a young couple sitting nearby, looked at the 24 year old's childish behavior with pity.


Suddenly he again exclaimed ..."Dad, look the clouds are running with us!"


The couple couldn't resist and said to the old man..."why don't you take your son to a good doctor?"


The old man smiled and said..."I did and we are just coming from the hospital.  My son was blind from birth, he just got his eyes today..."

 
Every single person on the planet has story.


Don't judge people before you truly know them, the truth might surprise you...

Think before you say something...!!!

Courtesy of Facts that will blow your mind

 

What is Your Name?

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.

He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat, as fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?"



She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston"

He swallowed hard.  Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!



Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What'...s your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.

Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best.

I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name."



"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba."

 Courtesy of Anyone Can Be Cool, But Awesome Takes Practice

ROFLMBO!
 

Don't Get Frisky in the Tent

If this video won't play for you, please click  here to view it on YouTube.

Enjoy!

Body Painting

An awesome piece of art!

A body painter, Johannes Stoetter created this tree frog using five human models.  Can you find all five!

Courtesy of Facts that will blow your mind

12 Craziest Things Invented By Japanese

Thought we could start the week with a good giggle. Below are 12 of the craziest inventions by the Japanese. I just have to wonder how they come up with this stuff…are they that bored with their lives?



DRYER FOR NAILS

After "painting" your nails, simply put the hand below these tiny tubes, and pimp the air with your other hand.
Of course, you could also just pick your hand up, rotate your wrist a bit, bend your fingers and blow on your wet nails.




BUTTER IN STICK

Quick,easy and accurate way to apply butter on bread.
As if it is soooo hard to be quick, easy and accurate without butter in in stick. *snort*



 
UMBRELLA WHICH COLLECTS WATER
Umbrella that protects from rain and also enables you to collect water in chamber which you can carry around your waist.
No way is this umbrella going to keep much rain off…especially if it is pouring. Still trying to figure out the purpose of carrying the collected rain water around…exercise?





LIPSTICK MASK

For more accurate lipstick.
Seriously?!? Looks more like something for Hannibal Lecter!











FAKE FOOTSTEPS
You can rotate its sole by 180 degree.
Ummm…









SPAGHETTI COOLING
Well described in photo below.
Just how hard is it to blow on your prior to putting it in your mouth?!?







GLASSES FOR EYE DROPS

Okaaaay



 




 


 
FOR DADDIES

Now men can also feed milk to babies,no excuse.
Oh good gravy! Seriously?




 



COOL HELMET

For sleeping in metro or train.
Would love to know what the sign is on the front of the hat…possibly…”I know I look stupid with a hard hat attached to a plunger so please don’t take pictures” LOL





AMAZING UMBRELLA

Not even single drop of rain.
Now I have been walking in some rain storms where the wind is blowing the rain and this would have been awesome!


 




CHEW METER

Well weird one ,i couldn't understand its use.
Ummm…ummm…hmmm…gonna leave this one alone!





FINGER TOOTH BRUSH
This one is cool.
Don’t really consider this ‘cool’ or good…kinda stupid in my opinion.

Courtesy of  Unbelievable Facts