Every Situation

Remembered!

 

BAD girl

The Butterfly

Too Early?

Negativity

3 Wedding Nights

Three couples marry and stay at the same hotel for their honeymoons, where they are taken care of by Dave the bellboy.

The first man married a nurse. Dave thinks to himself, "Nice, nurses are known to be hot."

The second man married a telephone operator. Dave thinks to himself, "Telephone operators have sexy voices."

The third man married a school teacher. Dave thinks to himself, "Poor guy, teachers are too strict."

The next morning, Dave reports to work and gets a room service call from the nurse's husband. He sourly says, "Don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night was 'You're not sanitary, you're not sanitary.'"



Then, the telephone operator's husband calls and sourly says, "Don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I heard last night was "Your three minutes are up, your three minutes are up.'"




Later that afternoon, the teacher's husband calls and happily says,

"When you marry, be sure to marry a school teacher. All I heard last night was 'We are going to do this over and over until we get it right!'"
 

Courtesy of BabaMail

You are Unique

How Many Letters Do You Have to Your Name, Sir?

Our awesome Faerie from faerie learns to fly is back! For those of you who haven't met her, go on over and say "hey"

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A cop stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. Since he's in a good mood that day he decides he might give the fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket.

So, he asks the man his name.

"Fred," the driver replies.
 
"Fred what?" the officer asks.

"Just Fred," the man responds.

When the officer presses him for a last name, the man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. 

The officer thinks he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.

"Tell me Fred, how did you lose your last name?"

The man replies, "It's a long story so stay with me. I was born Fred Dingaling. I know, funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself. I studied hard and got good grades."

"When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college medical school, internship, residency, finally got my degree so I was Fred Dingaling, MD."

"After a while I got bored being a doctor so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream. Got all the way through school, got my degree so I was now Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS."

"Got bored doing dentistry so I started fooling around with my assistant. She gave me VD. So, I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS with VD."

"Well, the ADA found out about the VD so they took away my DDS so I was Fred Dingaling MD with VD."

"Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD."


Then the VD took away my dingaling . . . so now I'm just Fred."  


The officer walked away in tears, laughing.

Courtesy of BabaMail

Reading the Millionaire’s Last Will

A lawyer meets with the family of a recently deceased millionaire for the reading of the will.

'To my loving wife, Rose, who always stood by me, I leave the house and $2 million,' the attorney reads.

'To my darling daughter, Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave the yacht, the business and $1 million.'

'And finally,' the lawyer concludes, 'to my cousin Dan, who hated me, argued with me and thought I would never mention him in my will.' 

'Well, you were wrong. Hi Dan!'

Courtesy of BabaMail