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Tuesday, August 2, 2016

The Mathematics of Life

We all studied mathematics in school, but much of what we learnt is not applicable to our day-to-day lives. There is, however, a whole other field of mathematics that we were not taught – the math of life. These are the prime equations and proofs that anyone should know, as they apply to life, love, and the pursuit of happiness.


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OFFICE ARITHMETIC
 
Smart boss + Smart employee = Profit
Smart boss + Dumb employee = Production
Dumb boss + Smart employee = Promotion
Dumb boss + Dumb employee = Overtime
 






ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
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Smart man + Smart woman = Romance
Smart man + Dumb woman = Affair
Dumb man + Smart woman = Marriage
Dumb man + Dumb woman = Pregnancy
 

SHOPPING PROOFS
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A man will pay $2 - for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 - for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
 

General Formulas:
HAPPINESS
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To be happy with a man - you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman - you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

 
LONGEVITY
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Married men live longer than single men,
but married men are a lot more willing to die.
 
 
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change - but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change - but she does.
 
 
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
(Then she worries about the husband...)
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who finds such a man.
 


DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

7 comments:

  1. Love these Cat, all true. The romance and shopping ones are my favourites. Thank you for sharing :)

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
  2. I had not seen most of these...gave me a chuckle...as I was nodding my head.
    hugs abby

    ReplyDelete
  3. Made me smile Cat. Shopping one my favourite. Thanks.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

    ReplyDelete
  4. Cat, when I need a smile, I just visit you. I agree with Ronnie. Shopping is my favorite math. Very good at figuring percentages in my head!

    Hugs,
    Ella

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for stopping by. Respectful comments are always welcome.