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Monday, April 17, 2017

Retirement from the Navy

The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any Two points in his body.. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
 
 
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
 
 
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.
 
 
The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied,
'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.'
 
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two Officers had received.
 
But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.
 
The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,' which he did.
 
The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to work back. "Dear Lord!", he suddenly exclaimed,  ''Where are your testicles?''
 
The old Chief calmly replied, ''Vietnam''.


Now that's one helluva retirement bonus!  Open-mouthed smile

8 comments:

  1. LoL Cat, smart guy, definitely one heck of a bonus! Guess they didn't stipulate that the body parts had to be attached lol.

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope...no stipulation as to attachment, Roz...their bad. :)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  2. Oh my goodness I didn't expect that answer Cat. LOL! Very smart man.

    Hugs Lindy xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aren't loopholes lovely, Lindy? :)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  3. This is hysterical, but for the Old Chief, but for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL Sunny...yea, not really hysterical for him but at least it's now paying off. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
    2. Caught that did ya, Roz. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete

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