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Sunday, February 7, 2016

Exam

The following questions were set in last year's GED examination.
These are genuine answers from 16 year olds.



Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
 
Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire
 
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed
 
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election
 
Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now, there is little hope)
 
Q. What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
 
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)
 
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death
 
Q. What is artificial insemination?
A.  When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow
 
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)
 
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. the abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U (wtf!)
 
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie
 
Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby
 
Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.  (That would work)
 
Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome
 
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.  (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)
 
Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)
 
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)
 
AND THE BEST IS LAST…
 
Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head. Once an Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head. (Now we’re getting somewhere)
 
And these youngsters will soon be voting?  God help us!!!

14 comments:

  1. The stupidity starts early - as i watch the current roster of candidates, I wonder about the next four years.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I fear for the future of the entire planet with the morons running the different governments, Sunny!

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  2. There are at least 4 or 5 there that partial credit should be given...
    hugs abby

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Partial credit for humor, Abby? ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  3. OMG hope none of them are future doctors with those answers.
    Hugs Lindy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now that's a scary thought, Lindy! ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  4. Haha! Hilarious and sad. Thanks for sharing, Cat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree CB...a bit of both. You're welcome. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  5. Lol, oh these are hysterical!!
    love Jan,xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy you enjoyed them, Jan. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  6. Cat these are really good. Made ma laugh. Thanks.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy you enjoyed them, Ronnie. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  7. Hi Cat, I read these answers while waiting at the doctor's this morning. :) I had to laugh out loud more than once and got some strange looks, but the answers are too funny not to laugh. Thank you for the good laughs.

    hugs

    Nina

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're very welcome, Nina...laughing in the doctor's waiting room is a very good way to lighten the mood. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete

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