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Sunday, February 28, 2016

As I Age

I have shared some of these before but enjoyed them so much, had to share them again. Winking smile

A Retired Person's Perspective
1. I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people.  I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out.

2. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds.  People move out of the way much faster now.

3. You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by looking at her hands.  If they are holding a gun, she's probably angry.

4. Gone are the days when girls cooked like their mothers.  Now they drink like their fathers.

5. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone you've just met?  That's common sense leaving your body.

6. I don't like making plans for the day.  Because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.

7. I didn't make it to the gym today...That makes 1,500 days in a row.

8. I decided to change calling the bathroom the "John" and renamed it the "Jim".  I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

9. Dear paranoid people who check behind the shower curtains for murders.  If you find one, what's you plan?

10. Everyone has a right to be stupid.  Politicians just abuse the privilege.

16 comments:

  1. Love these no matter if I've read some before!
    Btw.... That shower thing? I would run fast and shut the door to slow them down!

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    Replies
    1. Happy you enjoyed them, Minelle...LOL, run! ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  2. LOL. sometimes, age does bring wisdom...Minelle..i would reach in and turn the shower on...then run..
    hugs abby

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    Replies
    1. LOL Abby...reach in and chance getting grabbed? :D

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. Happy you enjoyed it, Mere. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  4. Replies
    1. So happy you enjoyed them, Sunny!

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  5. Thanks for these Cat. Loved them all.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcome, Ronnie...happy you enjoyed them.

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  6. Very funny, Cat. Shower curtains in strange bathrooms always make me nervous!

    Hugs,
    Ella

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    Replies
    1. Happy you enjoyed them, Ella...I usually leave the shower curtain open. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  7. This gave me a good morning laugh, Cuz! :) I got the biggest LOL out of number 8- the John to the Jim! too funny! As for whe is behind the shower curtain- that made me laugh too. I have been known to enter hotel rooms and move the curtains around etc. What I would do... IDK! LOLOL! RUN! HAHA! Thanks Cuz! Many hugs,

    <3 Katie

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    Replies
    1. So happy you enjoyed these, Katie...I enjoyed the John/Jim one also. I always check shower curtains, closets, curtains, even large pieces of furniture. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

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  8. LoL, funny ones. :) Thank you for the giggle, Cat.

    hugs

    Nina

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    Replies
    1. You're very welcome, Nina. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete

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