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Friday, May 17, 2013

Alcohol Warning Labels

Due to increasing product liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion to add more warning labels to their products. Just as the warnings on cigarette packs "rotate" through a variety of cautions, alcohol products will also get one of the following warning notices:
 
WARNING: Ladies, the consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
 
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
 
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an obliviot.
 
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
 
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
 
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
 
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing with you.
 
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your ass kicked.
 


















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12 comments:

  1. Aimless RamblingMay 17, 2013 at 10:05 PM

    There is not enough to ever make me think I can sing. LOL.

    How about one tequilla, two tequilla, three tequilla, floor.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CatMay 21, 2013 at 10:34 PM

      LOL Sunny...good one but I wouldn't even get all of one tequila down before I hit the floor! ;)

      Blessings,
      Cat

      Delete
  2. CallieMay 17, 2013 at 11:59 PM

    Lol Cat! I'm sure alcohol has had that effect on me a number of times.

    Callie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CatMay 21, 2013 at 10:34 PM

      Teehee Callie...think it has the effect on many people. ;)

      Blessings,
      Cat

      Delete
  3. RozMay 18, 2013 at 7:18 AM

    LoL Cat, nice timing after the couple of vodka's I've just consumed before reading this. Yep, I've done one or two of these!

    Hugs,
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
  4. Minielle LabraunMay 18, 2013 at 7:45 AM

    I am sure that a few of those have applied to me. Not the panties tho!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CatMay 21, 2013 at 10:36 PM

      LOL Minelle...so you always knew where you left your panties but not always your bra huh? ;)

      Hugs and Blessings,
      Cat

      Delete
  5. IrisheyMay 18, 2013 at 11:05 AM

    Decades late, dang it. I could have used these *before* I learned some (only some!) of them on my own. I'm like Sunny now: 1 tequila, 2 tequila, 3 tequila, floor!

    Irishey

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CatMay 21, 2013 at 10:37 PM

      LOL Irishey...sorry about that. ;) As I told Sunny...I'm less than 1 tequila...hit the floor!

      Blessings,
      Cat

      Delete
  6. TerpsichoreMay 18, 2013 at 3:56 PM

    It's a good thing I don't drink. :-) Singing karyoke is on my bucket list, though, and since I don't drink, I think the solution is that I need everyone else in the room to be drunk... :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. CatMay 21, 2013 at 10:39 PM

      Hey Terps...Brilliant idea!

      Blessings,
      Cat

      Delete

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