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Sunday, February 26, 2017

Simple Truth

SIMPLE TRUTH 1:
Lovers help each other undress before sex. However after sex, they always dress on their own.

Simple Truth: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.

 
SIMPLE TRUTH 2:
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say, "Congrats".
But, none of them touch the man's penis and say, "Good job".

Simple Truth: Some members of a team are never appreciated.

 
FIVE OTHER SIMPLE TRUTHS:
1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.
 
2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the asshole's name.
 
3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.
 
4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
 
5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.
 
Bonus Truth:
Condoms don't guarantee safe sex.

A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband. Surprised smile 

17 comments:

  1. Some of these are spot on, whereas some of these had me snorting in disbelief! Lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Snorting in disbelief, Minelle? I can believe all of them. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  2. These are too funny, Cat!
    Thanks for sharing!
    --Baker

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcome, Baker...happy you enjoyed them. :)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  3. Cat,
    Jack and I both laughed over these. Great post!
    Meredith

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Mere...happy you both enjoyed them. :)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  4. Had me laughing all the way through. Thanks Cat.

    Hugs Lindy xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcome, Lindy...happy to give you some laughs. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  5. Replies
    1. Happy you thought so, Abby. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  6. Good ones Cat. Thanks. made me laugh.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy to give you a good laugh, Ronnie. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  7. Replies
    1. You're welcome, Sunny...happy you enjoyed these. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  8. Replies
    1. Thanks, Rosie...Happy you thought so. ;)

      Hugs and blessings...Cat

      Delete
  9. LOL!!! Loved these, Cuz! Simple Truth 2 was hilarious! Many hugs,

    <3 Katie t

    ReplyDelete

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